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My quitting endeavour didn’t last long.

Man, it’s been 3 hours without smoking and now I know that I will be smoking again. It doesn’t take a long period of time to know if your ‘quit’ is successful.

Quitting smoking once again.

Today is 2019-02-08, just hour ago I became a non-smoker.

Every smoker knows how hard it is to quit smoking, but I don’t know how it will go, but I wanted to keep you updated with my status.

Maybe it will be couple of hours, maybe a day, maybe more. I just don’t know.

This psychical dependence drives me nuts.

I really want to quit smoking once and for all, but you know how it is.

You say you’ll quit and then you suck that little piece of shit.

I know, I’ve been quitting many times and every time is different.

Then there’s this mental dependence. It’s worse than psychical dependence.

There were times when I quit and had absolutely no withdrawal. I don’t know how it went, but there’s something with this withdrawal thing.

Breaking the Law.

The dentist wasn’t so happy…

…that I showed up early, but man – u got to understand peoples circumstances.

I just couldn’t wait to get my tooth fixed <3

Don’t measure your knowledge.

Sure you can measure your knowledge with Jacque Fresco.

But you have to remember that he lived to 101 year.

You just can’t measure your knowledge with old guys. Old guys have experience whilst young men have ambition and innovation and most importantly time.

If I would compare my knowledge with Jacque. I would feel so stupid.

But whatever Fresco ran out of time, I believe he was an Utopist.

I watched a lot of Fresco’s videos on the ‘future’ and he seemed so promising.

I just want to note that if people like Jacque Fresco haven’t changed anything, so we all won’t change anything too. It sucks I know, but we, the young, are the futures ruling class. The young people are the future.

I wonder what will the future bring to us, but if my life won’t change after 50 years, because I plan to live to 102 years. Then man, fuck all this world changing stuff.

To change the world – you have to be very influential and have the $$$.

Money doesn’t make the world turn, but money makes people build awesome things. As if money would be something in a rat wheel – constant motivation.

Sure I would be happy with money, but since I have none – whatever. Probably I won’t be rich ever.

So yeah, man, there are smart people out there and comparing your knowledge is like nonsense. Let the smart people invent the future – while we, the ‘normal’ guys do the dull stuff.

Ask yourself: If I’m so smart, why do I have a boss?

Because the boss probably is smarter than both of us.

Unconfident.

When somebody offers me work, I very much feel unconfident that I can do that work.

I remember when I learned to install windows 98, I installed it maybe 20-50 times a day because the system would always crash.

If somebody would ask me to install windows when I wasn’t qualified to do that. I would feel too, very much unconfident.

To do work, you need to be qualified. To be qualified it takes a lot of practice, the same with my guitar. I can play primitive songs with one strum, but if people would ask me to play on stage – I wouldn’t be confident because I can’t even remember my songs. I oneshot my songs with freestyle.

Being confident comes with a lot of practice. You just can’t pop out of pussy with confidence.

I have to note that some people are more confident than others by nature.

I’m not confident at all. I never wanted to work not because I’m afraid to wake up early and go to the bus station, but because I never felt that I know something and know how to do something.

I loved philosophy all my life, but I couldn’t be a philosophy teacher because my philosophical level is really low, there’s so little you can learn alone and I’m not an avid book reader.

Philosophy is a word game, because philosophy doesn’t offer any solutions in my opinion. Real world requires real solutions, while theory is only theory.

Does simulation hypothesis change anything? No it doesn’t.

There’s this hierarchy of competence, which permits and prohibits certain people to do certain stuff. I sure couldn’t be the president of Lithuania, nor I could be a dentist, nor a musician – I don’t feel fit into the society, that’s why I’m a loner and a nolifer.

Xeplion injection and dentist.

Today I got to got to make my monthly Xeplion 100 mg injection and at the same day I got to go to the dentist, the problem that injection is at 12.20 and the dentist is at 16.30. I sure don’t want to go twice to the clinic.

I have two choices to solve this problem.

  • Go and make my injection and then wait and hope somebody will miss his schedule.
  • Go and make my injection and then go back home and then go back to the clinic at 16.30.

Probably I will wait, because really walking two times is nonsense.

PS. Some young people tell me and make fun of me because I sit at home, but wait till you get older (30) and then look at yourself – what will you be doing? I bet you’ll be working and then sitting at home. Just because most of my friends scattered. All what’s left are drinking people.

PPS. Call a drinking person and you’ll end up drinking.

Gubernija Kvietinis

PPPS. Yesterday I had one liter of “Gubernijos Kvietinis” beer. It was good, over period of 2 months I drank beer just three times and it was not excessively.

Bad character.

You know what pisses me of?

Of course you don’t, yet.

I’m pissed by girls who have bad character.

In fact, there are many people who have bad character.

Because people are with bad character, if have to sit indoors and pretend that my life is awesome.

Think and Grow Rich Summary

1.5 years with no girlfriend.

Man, I want to fuck a girl so bad.

It’s been 1.5 years without girlfriend. The good side of it – nobody fucks with my brain, the downside – nobody fucks with my dick.

When I think about it, I really don’t want any relationships. Relationships are baaaaaaaaaaad. The commitment, the love, the shit – man, it’s all garbage.

Although, I want to connect with some people, but having a girlfriend is not for me. I hate the responsibility.

MGTOW for the win.

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