Vygintas Varnas

Matrix Hacks

Author: vygimau5 (page 1 of 26)

My Ubuntu 19.04 crashed after installing Nvidia drivers.

Recently I installed Ubuntu 19.04 and I tried to install Nvidia drivers, they said it’s tested, but my system froze on boot.

Now I reinstalled the system and won’t do Nvidia drivers.

Hope my system will run fine.


How to record webcam videos on Ubuntu without lag.

So I used Chromebook for couple of years and now I bought a new pc.

I was looking for a solution to film webcam videos.

All the Ubuntu apps did lag, but I noticed you can install a Google App.

It’s named Camera.

You can install the Camera app from Google webstore. And it runs without lag.

Logitech C615 runs with lag on Ubuntu software, but Google App doesn’t lag at all.

But you must run Google Chrome for it to work.

Ubuntu 19.04 looks nice.

So I upgraded to Ubuntu 19.04 and I was amazed how gorgeous it looks.

New icon sets. I think a new theme and new wallpapers. It’s cool.

The upgrade process was good, no bugs encountered.

Finally Ubuntu linux is getting better and better. I hope I don’t have to reinstall it ever again.

But fresh install is good when you have used a lot of software.

I tried running Runescape, but runescape lagged. So I haven’t played it.

Besides, now I’m going to install official Nvidia drivers. The problem with Nvidia drivers I used to have is that the videos were not v-synced.

Videos would tear. So it’s kinda lame.

Upgrading to Ubuntu 19.04.

Few days ago I installed Ubuntu 18.04 LTS from minimal image.

Now I noticed there’s an upgrade.

So I’m upgrading my system to Ubuntu 19.04.

I like linux, Ubuntu is sure easy to use.

The only downside to linux is that the Cheese app lags a lot, the voice isn’t synced to video.

There are no other downsides to Ubuntu. Maybe I haven’t found them yet.

Ubuntu is a nice operating system and it costs nothing to install. Unlike the chromebook I used. Ubuntu has no ads. And this is a big upside.

I don’t play games – so I don’t need gaming support.

While talking about games. I have ‘Oxygen Not Included game’ but it lags on linux. I didn’t install official Nvidia drivers.

Say yay, for the upgrade.

Got my new computer.

I’m so happy with my new computer.

It shipped with perfect power cords. I bought adapters, but I don’t need them.

It shipped with windows 10 for refurbished computers, but I installed Windows 7 and Ubuntu 18.04 LTS.

This computer was a steal. It shipped with lenovo monitor, hp keyboard. The keyboard is a bit damaged. Some unbranded mouse. The computer itself is DELL.

The only downside is that the GPU card is Nvidia GT 710. It’s a low end gaming card which is useless for gaming. But the games I play it runs almost perfectly.

I’m happy.

Not writing another book.

Whenever I sit down to write another book, I have this feeling that I’ll do this work for no reason. My books had some readers.

I figured that I don’t want to write a new book, because myself I don’t read books. Reading books is a waste of time. It’s better to read blogs.

But bloggers made blogs suck. Now everything is made professionally.

I love casual writing.

I figure that I’ll better find new readers for my old books rather than writing a new book.

I’m kinda have a writer’s block.

I can write few lines here and there, but writing a long book that has to make some sense is a difficult task.

I get this feeling that “AIIIII VPIZDU“. I always say that, because writing books is a hard task. Its way easier to write a casual blog nobody reads.

All writers must read, but me, personally I don’t even listen to audio books. Because it’s long and it sucks.

I’m done writing books. Blog is way to go.

I lost the hope to earn money with my blog. Writing is a dumb, disappointing occupation but I like it.

If I didn’t like to write it would be better, because writing is a curse.

You sit like a motherfucker at your computer and write these letters nobody reads. It’s a misery.

Writing is okay, but it yields no profit.

I have to admit – there are way better writers than I am and I kinda respect them because they can do it better than me.

It’s been 7 years I’m writing junk.

Man. Fuck it.

I wish I wasn’t creative because my creativity sucks.

Since I’m getting a new computer maybe I’ll go back to creating music, but the applications cost a lot of money. I guess I’m gonna use a pirated software. I don’t want to spend thousands of dollars to create music nobody’s going to listen.

And maybe I won’t be creating music, because it’s just to much of effort and work.

I don’t know.

Why I keep on doing this shit?

What’s the point?

I should forget about being famous.

I just like to drip fast thoughts into my blog. That’s the best I can do.

I realized I’m good for nothing – a joke.

People don’t like me.

Good morning.

Today I woke up at 6.30 AM. Took out the dog.

And now I’m on my laptop, soon I’ll drink coffee. Coffee’s on my table.

It’s nice to have a dog, yesterday we were out for one hour.

I took off the leash and she was playing with random stuff. It was nice to watch. Gladly she didn’t run away.

I remembered Dima’s song.

Where are all the bitches?

How about you give me some pussy?

Bought a computer and couple of games.

Today I received my disability paycheck.

So I bought a computer and craft the world DLC bosses and monsters and Diablo III DLC Rise of the Necromancer.

Now I don’t have any money and gonna wait till the next disability paycheck will arrive.

I have to pay 30€ to my friends. I owe 20€ to one friend and to another 10€.

My life is great. The computer should arrive between July 22 – August 9.

Been chilling for couple of days, didn’t want to write.

Now the computer will arrive and I will play craft the world.

It’s a great sandbox game. Diablo III is great too. Wonder how the necromancer will feel.

The computer will arrive with Windows 10, but I think I’m going to install Windows 7 on it, unless it comes with CD KEY for Windows 10.

My puppy has grown.

Vygintas and Bena
Me and Bena

Look at this big beast. She’s a well puppy.

Back in the day she was this big.

She was a small puppy when I got her.

She still shits indoors.

Sometimes she pisses out of joy. 🙂

Today I woke at 7 AM to take her out outside.

I’m so happy with her.

Found a great computer deal.

Yeah, I was searching in Lithuania for a new computer and I found laptops that were crap, then I went on eBay and found this great deal.


Make/ModelDell Optilax 7010
ProcessorIntel Core i5 3rd Gen
Memory8 GB
Hard Drive1 TB
Screen19″-Mixed Makes an Model Depending on stock
Operating SystemWindow 10
Power CableYes
AC AdapterN/A
Graphics Card2GB Nvidia GT710 HDMI,VGA,DVI 
NetworkLAN Enabled
Various365 Days RTB Warranty

It comes with monitor, mouse and keyboard.

And this baby only costs 180$, GBP 145.99

So I figured I’ll buy this baby since it’s a great deal.

You can find this PC, here.


Get better.

It’s been 7 years I’m writing my various thoughts, emotions, disappointments and the struggles.

Writing is a very competitive occupation. These days everyone is a writer. There’s just too much noise. I wish I could shoot most of the writers.

It’s been 7 years of fruitless work, fruitless grind and disappointments with misery.

I have to admit – I’m a miserable person who’s never lucky.

Luck isn’t on my side. I wish the road was straight, but the road is full of curves, pitfalls and downfalls. I’m in the down.

I literally wish I could shoot this world’s best writers. Then there would be a place for my writing.

I wish I would write better, because most of my writing is crap. Although I have stroke some chords which didn’t benefit my pocket. So I went fucking mad.

Life is pretty damn harsh, hard and most importantly unfair.

You must agree with this statement.


Nobody waits for my new blog post. I literally am a writer with no audience. No wonder – my whole list of writing is garbage.

Not because people don’t like it, but because I get better as a writer after I finish my post. Goddammit.

Fuck all those writers who earn millions of bucks, fuck them. I wish I could shoot them. Fucking posers.

And every single motherfucker has to tell how lucky he got because he earns some cash to buy one million dollar house. Fucking poser – you – Stephen King. I wish you would write a story about me. You sure would love to write stories for free – yeah – you would.

If I would earn millions of bucks from my books. I sure would love to write stories for free. Goddammit.

Anyway. The story goes forward. Fuck those posers who say we are special and talented. I bust my ass every fucking day creating content for you motherfuckers. I sure hate you all – now go fuck yourself.

Instead of writing these fucking stories. I should go and kill people. Less people – more air to breath.

You know what pisses me the most? It’s your fucking standards – how the story should go. You all fuckers want awesome stories, but why you read all the garbage? Pick any newsletter like CNN, it’s full of garbage stories, but ya’ll people like it.

A writer has only one thing to do. It’s to get better. Because the fucking competition is a lot better than that poor fucking writer. Yes, you heard me right. Most of you writers are better than me because you earn your fucking dollars. But I’m not going to quit that easily. Fuck, man, I’ll grind my skill 20 years, if I’ll have to.

You fucking writers aren’t pushing me out of business. If I told that I’m gonna be a blogger, that means I’ll be one.

I sure fucking love to write stories for free, but I would love writing them for cash.

I learn that fucking language. Because I love to grind. It’s said that writing is the most harshest and most disappointing occupation. Fuck man, I love disappointments and misery. Why did I choose this occupation is the first place? To earn money you fucking bastards.

I don’t care about you unless you like and love me.

7 years I was grinding this writer’s skill and where have I’ve got? Fucking nowhere, that’s about fucking right.

7 fucking years on some fucking writing. I wish I was as smart as I am now. Fuck I sure had to write in this blog back in the day. But I was fucking stupid to seek places where it was easier.

Most of my stories didn’t get any traction. Some would be posted in huffpost, if I wouldn’t delete them.

Many of my friends told me: “I see you have some potential.“. I have some potential. Goddammit. But it’s never enough, right?

You fucking writers have upped the game so much that it’s easy to miss the game. But I’m not out yet.

If I told, that I’m grinding this game. Then it means I will.

Today I watched some fucking motivation. And I got fucking motivated to get better.

And you writers don’t even try to stop me. I’m fucking motivated – hell yeah. Yeah boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

I realized writing is a game. And the best have all the glory. And money. Would you spare some change? How about you hit that donate button and buy me a coke since you read my shit daily. How about that?

Everybody thinks I’m a joke, but jokes on you, motherfuckers.

Yeah, I’m highly motivated. Hope my motivation won’t fade till tomorrow, because it always does. Doesn’t it?

What are we doing here? Where’s all the casual stories? If you want me to go pro – then just tell me and I’ll blast your socks off you motherfucker.

These days I was lazy to write. I had to rethink my goddamn life. I always think about my life, because life tends to hit me with a wet sock right in the kisser. Life just keeps bitch slapping and bitch slapping.

I’m done being a loser. At least for today I am.

You all think I’m a joke. Why is that? Aren’t we having a great time writing and reading?

I never worked in my life, because I knew I got to take this fucking life and build something from it. Yeah, I’m fucking motivated.

This time for real.

Everybody wants a better story, but isn’t the stories about misery the best? How fucking disappointing everything is.

Fucking 7 years in the game and therefore no fucking results.

Where are the fucking fans, the fucking donors?

What’s up with you. Why don’t you see a talent when he’s right under your nose?

You want a better story, so I guess I’ll have to blast your socks off with one – a fucking good story which won’t earn me a cent.

Writing sure is fulfilling me and my pocket.

I’m fucking bored with writing, but I write because there isn’t anything better to do. I was born a philosopher. During my 30 years, I have some shit figured out. There’s just to much of you fuckers who write.

How about you drop dead?

Less writers – better the chance of me succeeding.

Everyone is hungry for success. But most people aim low and miss. But me – I fucking aim high, if I told that I’ll be a paid blogger that means I will. I know this shit.

Sure there are goddamn days when I don’t want to wake up and look at my blogs stats. The shit is real, isn’t it?

Every fucking time I miss. Every fucking time.

I’m done missing. You want a better story. Okay. There will be, maybe not this one.

I started writing because there isn’t anything interesting to read. I had to choose real writing instead of insta–trash.

But people, the writers, they keep upping the game now and then.

A writer wrote a piece and earned 1000$ – that’s not me.

I probably won’t get rich selling 30 cent eBooks. But whatever. Fuck that.

If people don’t read your blog it means you suck. There is no other explanation. Don’t bullshit me with stories that people can’t find your blog. I’m done with bullshit.

People keep telling – you have to blog 4 years to get traffic while this motherfucker gets 10000+ visits per month just after 6 months of blogging. Yeah sure, people love that shit. The how to articles, the reviews and other crap, but how about a little rant?

Nobody tells the truth. You suck, your life is a joke, you will never win. That’s what people keep telling me.

And I used to believe all this crap. But after 7 years of writing I realized that I suck. I really suck your dick. You are better than me, you goddamn writers.

Every time I go on Medium.com I keep asking myself, how come these writers write such garbage and how do people read this piece of sh*t.

Tends to be that most and the best writers are on Medium, so chances winning there are slim. The world has enough good writers who keep writing click bait shit.


Yeah, I sure should implement some click baits on my blog, but fuck that. No readers after 700+ posts? You must suck, this is what happened to me.

So if I suck, I must get better.

But fucking how? I sure could show you my dick, that sure would get me few clicks. But with letters, how the fuck you do that?

I sure should write some good goddamn stories about a fucking miserable life, about me being cashless and other writers stealing my pocket money, but that’s goddamn lame.

Nobody wants me to cry about my fucking miserable life, how my pocket is empty. That’s lame.

You know what? Reading is lame, because you talk about America, how fucking Trump sucks, how Britney farted, how Chester cried for help and he committed suicide. Fuck that, because it’s fucking boring.

How about a story of a guy, who wanted it big, but instead he got fucked by life and its pitfalls? This would be a bang.

But I’m no Chester, I fucking won’t commit suicide. He’s gone and I’m still alive and kicking, that motherfucker had it all. The money, the fame, the bitches, the cars, the jets and a fucking goddamn awesome voice. Sucks he couldn’t shout for any help, because you fuckers kill all the genius. How many artists committed suicide because this fucking planet doesn’t care about genius. But that’s lame – we want a better story. You know what? Fuck you!

Shove your story in your ass. This is what people give me.

I fucking grind and you give me zero bucks. Why is that? Press that goddamn donation button and buy me some coke you motherfucker!

I’ve read all the good stories. I want another one. So I wouldn’t feel so miserable. Chester I hope you have a fucking good time in heaven.

And we writers fucking grind these fucking stories so the fucking reader was fucking entertained.

Eat. Shit. Laugh. (Жрать. Срать. Ржать.)

Fuck this fucking culture of fucking bio robots. This generation is made of mindless workers and ass-lickers who lick every ass to get a buck.

How about you suck my dick for free? That would be nice, if you’re a girl. And if you’re a man, how about you go fuck yourself you mindless bum.

Fucking generations of selfish idiots, who give zero fucks. This is how we teach each other. To give zero fucks, but what about common good?

Selfish motherfuckers don’t care about common good, because every motherfucker wants to survive. The competition is fucking stiff.

So you gotta become fucking better.

Because these fuckers will outcompete you easily. These fuckers are well prepared. You know what’s easier than outcompeting your competition? Shooting them.

You shoot your competition and you’re a monopolist.

Nobody likes the monopoly. But these writers are the monopoly whenever I surf the web. I see the same faces over and over and over.

You fucking make me puke. Where are my dollars?

Where’s my fucking fame and glory? How many letters I’ll have to write until I get some recognition?

Yeah you guessed, these fuckers feed you with bullshit.

Does any money making video made you rich? No? You suck, because I suck. I watched thousands of them and you know what? I just fucking wasted my fucking time on those videos. Instead I could have wrote my fucking blog and my blog would have +1 lame post.

You think I’m a joke, a loser, a clown. I spend my time learning all my life and when I meet someone I could give you 100%, he’s an idiot. You see this is a generation of idiots.

Idiots who consume garbage like farts and don’t want to learn anything interesting from philosophy or psychology or any other field.

When I go outside I just see a bunch of losers, who have worked all their life and they’re fucking poor. Why then work, if you’ll end up poor? I’m poor while not working.

Brian Tracy says work on your craft everyday, read, learn. And maybe you’ll end up being rich. Goddammit Brian. In a poor country you’ll be poor, because none of those fuckers have money to buy your goods. Brian, you’re old and soon you’ll gonna step into the heaven side. I love your videos OwO.

Nobody’s going to tell you the secret to wealth because none of them need any competition. Financial sector is filled with garbage. Conflicting information as Grant Cardone says. I’ve been watching those videos, but none of them made me rich. I just wasted time.

So fuck yeah, I’m fuckin’ motivated.

I just have to get better, but fuck – I just can’t imagine how it could happen.

I guess I’ll just have to fucking grind this shit.

And after 20 years you’ll suck my dick.


Negative toxic pessimist.

It’s soon my 31th birthday on 08.24.

Over the years I became negative and toxic and a real pessimist.

I just don’t know how I became so sad with my life.

I had dreams, that I will make money blogging, but when I’ve tried – nothing really worked.

I realized that years go by and my body starts to degenerate little by little. I don’t have 7 teeth.

Life gets harder every year. My health isn’t as it used to be back 10 years.

Over 10 years period I started to smoke, didn’t quit drinking. Sat on my laptop. You can call me a nolifer, I just don’t play games.

I became very negative, because in life nothing ever works. I’ve tried so many things and none of them worked.

I played guitar, composed music, did webcam vlogs, cracked jokes, played a synth, wrote a blog, went to the gym, wrote few eBooks, did viral videos, was employed – nothing worked.

Now I’m fed up with trying something new.

I know things won’t work out as they should. Sure when I’m doing something I have expectations. It’s better to do something because you enjoy, not because you have to. I know I should drop my expectations.

You get very disappointed when you have expectations.

I know I’ll die from lung cancer. Back in the day I thought that I’ll die from heart failure, because I have a heart disease from childhood. Then I got struck with paranoid schizophrenia, then I thought I’ll go insane after few years. But nothing happened.

But anyway. Capitalism makes me scared for my future. My mom dies and it’s GG for me.

Now I have a dog, she cheers me up. But I’m too lazy to go out with her in the morning. I sleep until 12-15 o’clock.

Nothing works in life, does it?

I became so negative, that I noticed that every year my life gets worse, not better. Everything goes to shit. Nothing came as I planned.

I didn’t plan this life, back in the day as was more active, now I just sleep and lurk online.

I have no interesting stories to tell. The last 10 years I’ve spend at home and in mental hospital. It’s 6 years I’m sick with schizophrenia.

I kinda don’t feel my disease. I just don’t see the point of doing something. I’m depressed, cashless and I just don’t know how my life will turn out.

I had very big ambitions to be a writer, but as I grew up. I realized nobody likes what I write. Well, maybe some people like.

During these years I became so sad with my life. Drugs don’t solve my social issues. Only money can solve problems, but I don’t want to work. I want to blog.

Whenever I go to the job portal. I see jobs that simply don’t interest me.

I realized I have no solid skills. I just don’t know how to do anything.

I skipped school, was hoping that someday I’ll be a billionaire. But life didn’t work out as I planned. I know that by working you won’t have a billion bucks – nobody has. Most people are bums, because making money is hard.

I noticed that successful people have a lot of friends and their lives are completely different. They spend time in different ways.

Sure having friends is great, you can make cool things with friends. But when you’re alone – you are destined to failure. Today teams win. Simple people like me – lose.

I know that my life is better than most peoples. But still I’m depressed because I want more from life. I just don’t know how to get it. I wish I was a native American – it would be easier for me.

I know a lot of general things, but I didn’t specialize in anything. Now I’m just an useless generalist. I believed that someday I would lead big groups of people to victory. But I have nothing to show.

My pocket is empty, I just get my disability paycheck.

Imagine, I was hoping that I’ll be a billionaire, while I don’t even know how to earn a dollar… It’s both funny and ridiculous.

How do people make money. When I write articles for other people I instantly get 15€ per 500 words, but when I write for myself – nothing really works. You can’t save money which you don’t have.

Many people believe I’m a joke, but during 30 years I haven’t found a job which I like. I never worked. Don’t know why. I’ve read rich dad, poor dad. And rich dad told me that he wouldn’t work on something he didn’t own.

The truth is that most people will have to work for somebody else. I’ll work when my mom dies – maybe, if I’ll don’t die first.

The future scares the shit out of me. My days, all of them, are the same.

I came to this world as a reject. All people reject me. I got used to this.

People don’t buy my shit, people don’t enjoy my craft, and people don’t want to work with me.

Back in the day I wanted to work, but numerous failed attempts and job loss made me realize I don’t want to work for anybody.

How these bloggers make 10000$ per month. I just don’t know.

Nobody wants to tell the secret to wealth.

It’s not enough to be human, it’s not enough to be a good person.

I used to give everything away. And now I don’t have anything.

I don’t want to depend on some employer. All employers would kick me out. It’s just the way I’m built. I don’t want to depend on people.

But where ever I look I see people depending on people. People choose themselves what they like, what they enjoy, what they read and watch and people choose themselves to whom give their money.

I was born in CCCP, I don’t want to sell anything because I can’t produce anything.

People have took away my resources and now I’m just like everybody else. I have to pay for everything. Even to catch a fish – you have to buy a ticket.

When I was a kid. I thought that I’m special. I always wanted to be a singer, an entertainer, a person of high worth. But look at me – I’m a joke. I have nothing to show. I have no achievements.

Reality has crushed me, but I don’t want to give up yet.

I’ll just try to be a blogger, maybe some people will connect with me.

I’m not this guy, who’ll kiss your ass for a couple bucks. Most successful people – all they do is kiss ass and tell fairy tales that we can be successful, rich and famous.

I’ve tried so many things, that I thought I would like. And now all it’s left is to bleed on a piece of page.

Life fucked me through the ass. I’m fucked.

Back in the day I heard a saying: “Live on your own terms.“, but it appears that other people determine how you’ll live.

You can’t do anything alone.

All I want is to be loved by people. But deep down inside I don’t love anybody for giving me a harsh time.

Life just happens to you, you can’t build anything from life.

What are my options? To start working and get those 400€? It’s a joke, man. To go again to the gym? This isn’t something I want.

There aren’t enough options.

Disabled people are disabled people and they get life harder than those who are healthy.

My game is pay to win. Free to lose.

Everybody wants to be successful, but success is rare. What the fuck we are doing wrong? What’s the problem with all these people?

I hate you as much as you hate me. Thanks for reading.

There isn’t enough sincere people. Most people don’t care about us, you and me. Everybody’s looking how to survive.

I’ve spend most of my time philosophizing. And came to conclusion that philosophy is useless. Philosophers can’t change a light bulb.

Sometimes I wish I could command life and reality, but that’s not the way everything works. Reality commands you. Sure you can do some influence here and there.

Maybe we all are just too dumb to be rich. To have wonderful careers, to live our dreams.

I don’t have any patience and persistence to continue this shit. It’s been years and years of fruitless work. I should reap what I sow. But that’s not the way life works.

During my life I made mistakes. But I don’t regret anything. I always picked the easy way. To sleep, to be lazy, to not work. And now my life is mentally hard. Because I just don’t know what the future holds for me.

I even failed to be a writer. The thing I loved the most – I failed and keep failing. I wish I could fail my way to success.

I’m not afraid of failure due to fact because I was failing all the time. As I said – nothing ever worked for me.

Life goes forward. And little by little I keep degrading. I no longer progress in life. The only thing which does progress is my blog. It moves forward day by day, step by step.

I want more from life, but everything I know is conflicting with reality. Reality isn’t as I’ve imagined. After I was diagnosed with schizophrenia I realized life works on autopilot. Nobody controls people, they control themselves. The system controls them all. That’s why I say that we live in the matrix.

Life could give me more, but I doubt I deserve it. I’m not a salesman, I won’t pitch you anything.

I always wanted more. More fame, more money, more friends, more of the good stuff. Now I envy those rich bastards who showoff their money in their videos. Their luxury cars, their jets.

I just don’t know how to get that. If I knew how. I would be rich.

People say save up 100€ and put it in a mutual fund. And by 65 you’ll be a millionaire. But I want to live now. Not when I’m 65.

I know how money works, but I don’t accumulate any.

But you could say I know Jack’s shit about money. That’s why I’m poor.

I just don’t get the point of working, why work hard, when you can work easy? Aren’t there easy jobs which pay even more than jobs where you have to grind hard?

Fuck work. If bitches can suck dick and earn good income that means you can do anything you want in life.

I choose to be a blogger and now I have to fucking think how to get me some dollars, but I don’t want to be in sales. My ideas are conflicting.

Who’s gonna pay me from their generosity?

Life happened to me and I got crushed. So many time generating ideas which I couldn’t fulfill. So much time testing and trying various schemes. And nothing worked.

What’s my life about? Why I’m not joyful like those motherfuckers who showoff jets and women and mansions?

There must be a secret, somewhere. Why some people have nothing, despite the effort, while some have everything?

We all have the same amount of time, I wish I could buy more time, more hands, more writers and create something decent. But now – nobody wants to work with me and nobody buys my shit.

I always wanted to earn online. Because I live in a cheap ass country where there are no opportunities. I don’t want to travel abroad to work in some fucking factory.

I’ve read thousands of stories where people claim earning money from the comfort of their home. I want that. That’s a great story but I keep wishing for it. I keep grinding and nothing works. Ever.

I’m fed up failing. I wish my failures would end. I wish I would find a fucking gold mine and then suddenly I would become a positive optimist and would bullshit other people, how it easy it is to be successful – you just have to fail until you win.

This article can’t solve your problems.

Bloggers, yeah – you and me. We tend to solve problems.

When I joined the web I realized the web is different kind of medium – nobody reads online. People online look for information.

Many articles solve problems.

My articles don’t inform, don’t educate, don’t solve any problems and sure don’t entertain – why would people read this kind of blog?

Everybody has fans, the problem – there’s not enough of them.

If everybody had enough of fans, literally everybody would be famous.

But being famous online – forget about it.

I was famous, fame faded and that’s it.

My fame lasted 15 minutes. I got a lot of messages, some people even wanted to film me with professional gear – I said – no!

That’s it, my life didn’t change. I was miserable as I am now.

I even had 700 Youtube subscribers in one day, but I ended up deleting the channel. Nobody understands my jokes. 🙂

That said.

On blogs people solve problems such as… how long to cook a pizza… or how to switch RAMs in Chromebook…

People rarely want to connect with other people.

Sure I have readers, but that’s not enough to get a lot of donations.

Few days ago I was wondering should I continue to blog, seems like my writing effort goes to waste. I took a break.

Now I’m okay.

I will write.

Nobody likes casual blogs anymore. People search Google, just because they want to know something new and useful.

Blogging officially has died.

But blogging has one great benefit, nobody can ban you from your space. In Facebook you can get banned if you’ll do some hate speech.

This world is full of haters, people hate each other for no fucking reason.

But whatever.

Blogging isn’t a solid method to make money, in fact blogging is one of the worst ways to make money unless you write reviews, or how to articles, but if you’re like me – you want to connect, you’ll never see a dollar.

Forget about earning with your blog.

Forget getting thousands of visitors.

Forget about fame, riches, women, sex and everything else.

Typical blogs get 10 to 100 visitors per day.

I know a blogger, he’s Lithuanian. He writes from 2005, it’s almost 15 years. And all he has is 300 visits per day. He writes in Lithuanian the longest. 🙂

So length of blogging doesn’t equally mean you’ll get any traffic.

You can write for years – sure people will read your blog, but with 300 per day, you won’t get any sales and as far as I know, this guy doesn’t earn from his blog. In fact none of the Lithuanian writers earn with their blog.

It’s better to write in English language, sure the competition is bigger, and the reward is bigger. More visitors come to your blog.

How many visits will I get after 15 years of writing? I bet 300 hits. 🙂

There’s another problem, people don’t want to donate money. My banner is a joke. I haven’t got any money.

The only reason to write a blog, is to write if you like it. If you hate blogging don’t do it, because you won’t get any money out of it.

Blogging isn’t a career. It’s a hobby that sucks cash slowly. 🙂

As I told, this blog post won’t solve your problems, but it will let you connect with me.

There’s too much blogs.

People say write quality posts, but the problem is that there’s too much blogs on the planet, if everyone would write quality content, then you would need quantity.

There isn’t any difference if you write quality or if you write quantity.

Writing unique and amazing content is really hard, but anyway.

I’m writing quantity, because what’s the point writing amazing content, when there’s just too much blogs?

1 blog for 7 people, if you get 7 people on your blog, you’ve got enough people.

Just keep answering peoples questions. And maybe you’ll find a gold mine.

Neil Patel says, enable comments and respond to comments, but what’s the point? When you have just so little traffic, the comments won’t flow in.

Most comments people leave are simply irrelevant.

Why write a blog, when today everybody’s on Facebook?

I bought another year of hosting for my blog, will be writing my blog, but people need something different.

I found out some guy was blogging 6 months and he already has 10000+ visitors.

People find new blogs instantly, just like people find new Youtube videos.

If nobody reads your blog – you’re most likely writing shit. Just like me.

Personally I don’t care about the reads, reads don’t fill my pocket.

All I care is having a space where people can find me if they want.

I’m online, hooray.

Now what?

The beginning.

All beginnings are overrated.

You begin working on your dream career.

But what will happen when you’ll achieve your goal?


Yesterday I drank almost 4 liters of beer.

Vomited like 3 times.

Regret drinking.

I just don’t know why I keep drinking. Drinking adds nothing to my health… and to my life… Gotta stop drinking…

Producing good content.

The audience isn’t the problem, the problem is the lack of good content.

Most online content is simply said, mediocre.

And the popular posts, they follow certain format.

As long as you write content and it doesn’t follow the format of web content – you’re articles will never go viral.

First year or so, you should get familiar with web format.

You should spectate writers and authors who have made it.

And try to apply the same format for your posts.

Because in online writing the format matters a lot.

If writing, vlog, podcast don’t follow the specific format – chances of it getting viewers is lesser.

But also keep in mind that you can develop your own format, it’s just a matter of time when people will start to notice your work.

Everyone can become a millionaire, but a lot of people are just too slow.

It takes a lot of time to develop your daily routine and your work outlet.

Just say: “at this place we do things like this” and some people might like it, but most won’t even care.

Writers attract only a small fraction of readers. There’s maybe 1% of writers who attract huge audiences of people, the rest attract only a small fraction of readers.

You’ll never know what your writing is worth unless you’ll try it.

So keep producing great content.

Working with human attention.

It’s a slick thing.

One day you’re famous, the next day you’re forgotten.

The only way to regain popularity is to stay on your job every day.

People have short attention spans.

We all love great things online, but remaining popular is a harsh and hard thing.

People choose themselves what they love and what they like.

You can’t force people to love and like you, unless you stay on track for the rest of your life.

It’s better when you have an audience.

Writing for one person is the same amount of work when writing for one million people.

You can write as much as you want, but the problem remains – you don’t have an audience.

Your best work won’t be noticed.

And that sucks. All writers deserve more attention.

Typical writer is a starving artist. 🙁

Typical writing means your piece will be read by one person. It’s just the way it works.

You can assume that the more you write, the better traction you’ll get, but it’s a myth. Writing more never equals to getting more readers.

To get more readers – you have to become a recognized writer. Without recognition there won’t be any views.

It’s the way it works.

And getting recognition requires you to write a ton of words. There simply isn’t another way, probably.

Why I don’t write new books.

I saw what it means to be a writer. Nobody cares if I’ll write a new book.

Nobody wants to pay me money for my books.

Everybody wants to listen to new books for free and people sometimes ask me when does my new book come out.

Publishers won’t print my books. People won’t buy my books.

And in writing there’s no money. At least for me.

i’m disappointed in this writing thing.

Writers have to write a lot to be famous. And I’m not writing any new books, because I’ve never earned while writing Lithuanian books.

All Lithuanians read translated books, because Lithuania itself doesn’t have any normal books. Except mine.

It’s said that writers should read, but personally me – I don’t read. Therefore I’m a lousy writer. If I read blogs, then I should write blogs.

I don’t want to write new books, because there’s no profit in it.

Writing a book and making few sales is ridiculous. The job isn’t worth the reward.

That said. Until I’ll have an audience I won’t write any books. Now my audience is very small and I can’t earn a decent income.

Personally me, I don’t sell anything. If I have a product that’s decent – people still won’t buy it.

I have some books in amazon kindle, but these books are in my blog. Those books are in public domain.

I’m done writing books.

It’s the 9 month I’m doing this shit.

Time flies fast when you’re having fun.

I made 0 bucks with this blog, probably my blog recipe is bad.

But anyway, it’s a non profit blog.

9 months of writing in this blog, my traffic is just 40-70 visits per day.

Too shabby.

Anyway. I want to take a break because I feel exhausted. I just don’t know what to write about. Guess this blog won’t be a daily blog. Just don’t know how Yann can do it.

To me it seems hard to write every day. I want my posts to be unique, something great is yet to be told.

I guess my blog won’t work out, but anyway. A lot of readers is a lot of readers – you can’t argue with that. The more readers – the better the blog.

Simple writing’s won’t make any money.

I don’t posses any superior knowledge and don’t write tips.

Fuck it.

Cheers to next 9 months.

Life starts…

…when you pop out of the pussy.

Everybody has somebody.

I have to break it to you.

Not everybody has somebody.

It’s a myth, there are lots of people who don’t have somebody to love.

That said, if you’re in your 50s and you don’t have kids, you won’t have them. Because in your 20s you didn’t have any brains.

Songs I used to create as ‘Carbonium’.

I remembered that I have some songs which survived the when reform.

Carbonium – O3
Carbonium – Fe3O4
Carbonium – Cr2O3

These were created 8 years ago, I then used to create music like this. I had more, was uploading them to last.fm, but last.fm site collapsed and was reformed, so there isn’t any songs left.

My dick’s kinda popular.

We made a photo of my dick and sent it to one girl.

And she shared my dick with the world.

Now my dick is more popular than me.

Was in the mental house.

Today I was visiting my friend in the mental house.

He’s doing okay. He told that he threw out tea-kettle out the window.


‘Working’ with human attention.

Human attention is very valuable.

Humans can give you the lifestyle you want.

But human attention is short and rare.

Now they’re interested in what you do, the next day they are bored with you.

When I was viral, I got so much attention. But then everything faded.

It’s hard to go viral another time. I’ve tried – nothing happened.

To get human attention – you have to offer extraordinary value, or extraordinary entertainment. There’s no human attention in other things.

Casual bloggers like me, get very little human attention.

You can’t call casual blogging a business. Because it’s not a business.

It’s a hobby.

Work hard to get human attention, because without attention – your dream life won’t come true.

What WordPress Plugins I use.

I know some of you guys are bloggers.

And I know it’s hard to pick the right plugins.

  1. Ad Inserter.
  2. Cookie Notice.
  3. Disqus for WordPress.
  4. GA Google Analytics.
  5. Google XML Sitemaps.
  6. Limit Login Attempts Reloaded.
  7. Really Simple SSL.
  8. Simple Social Buttons.
  9. Top 10.
  10. Two Factor.
  11. Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

I won’t go into detail. These do what I need, maybe someday I’ll have more plugins.

WordPress theme is Hemingway.

Are we living in a Matrix?

The term Matrix refers to the movie “The Matrix”

The Matrix is simulated reality in base reality. Most likely in a computer.

Nobody knows for sure if we are living in a Matrix, there is no evidence and there probably won’t be since humans who are living in a Matrix can’t grasp anything beyond the Matrix itself.

Anybody living in a Matrix is limited to the system itself.

If you’re aware enough – you see that life works on it’s own. Grass grows, the planets rotate and the whole universe shifts and changes, the reality we both experience is so dynamic.

We can talk galaxy, atoms and anything in between.

Simulation hypothesis tells us that our world is created, just like people who told that our universe is created by God, an omnipotent and omnipresent being.

The problem occurs: that people till this day don’t know the meaning of our universe, since there is no scientific fact – everything is left there to speculate and guess.

Matrix-style simulation should not concern people. Human being is limited to the reality he experiences, there is no other reality you can experience. Sure you can experience altered consciousness states, but those delude the experience of reality.

We don’t know what happens after death of the subject, the individual. It is also left to speculation.

If we talk about computers, when you leave your programming window empty – nothing can run on it. But when you write code which makes computer function – you get some action.

When you stand in games like GTA5 near the window with your character, you see the same picture as if you stood in real life – everything out the window just runs. I hope you get the point.

There is a theory on solipsism, questioning the fact that we can’t know anything external since the external world is interpreted with our brain.

In virtual worlds you would expect bots who accompany the main character, therefore we don’t know if in our world there are bots. It is impossible to know that’s why you can’t deny solipsism and you can’t approve it – it is left for questioning.

History tells us that people don’t know if there is God, the same will happen with simulation theory.

If you pick a random game – you can finish playing at any time while in real life finishing a “game” would mean suicide and you still don’t know what happens after you kill yourself.

On the other hand, when you see all these people dying now and then – you really don’t know if they aren’t bots. That’s what solipsism questions.

There is a thing called: Infant solipsism.

Developmental psychologists commonly believe that infants are solipsist and that eventually children infer that others have experience much like theirs and reject solipsism.

I had a lot of hallucinations and coincidences, which lead me to believe that I live in simulated world, because if you look closely you can find a lot of coincidences.

But in my case it’s a belief, not a fact.

I kind of suffer from solipsism syndrome due to my mental illness.

Couple of days I wrote my name: Vygintas into Japanese with this letter pronunciation.

V – RU; Y – FU; G – Ji; I – Ki; N – TO; T – CHi; A – KA; S – ARi.

You get:


And if you paste it to Google Translate

And translate to English, you get this:

There is only one

And if you translate it into Russian, you get this:

Существует только один

And if you translate this into Lithuanian, you get this:

Yra tik vienas

Since I know these three languages, I can’t be more confused and I really don’t know if there is a coincidence or not.

Somehow my name transliterated to japanese and then translated explains my solipsism syndrome. It confuses me a lot.

To me simulation hypothesis looks very real, but as I told – it’s a belief, not a fact.

Are we living in a matrix? Maybe, I don’t know.

To get a feeling of “living in the matrix” you have to be somewhat mentally disturbed. People who aren’t mentally ill don’t get this feeling.

When I got my first psychotic episode, the world started talking to me: television, music, ads, just name it. Everything was perfectly tailored for me, I saw some insane stuff which altered my perception of reality, since then I wasn’t the same again. Before then I didn’t know anything about simulation theory. But I started Googling and saw people talking about it since 1977 by Philip K Dick and then 2003 by Nick Bostrom and in 2013 by me and a lot more people that I’ve found including Elon Musk.

I wouldn’t talk about the matrix if I haven’t had a personal experience and so much coincidence during mental breakdown periods and normal life periods. There’s just too much coincidence in my life. Once during psychotic episode I had the feeling of detaching from the matrix and I knew kung-fu, Chinese and many more stuff, but when they drug me back to real life I instantly forget everything. Usually when I have my psychotic breaks I tend to forget how to understand the world, once felt having a god mode until they took me to the mental ward.

I know I spend a lot of times with computers and the web. Sometimes I have dreams of search names which lead me to weird things like this, I know this is in Russian language, but if you’ll watch it you’ll understand it because it’s animation. This animated serie explains all my life, yet there is no part two.

Then once I bought six cheapest lottery tickets during my mental breakdown. I gave two to the cashier, two to my friend and two to myself, we mixed it randomly before I gave them away and you know what? Every one of us had one ticket which was a loss and the other ticket with 20 cents on it.

The more I look online the more I find justification for my hallucinations I had.

There is something interesting in a mental breakdown I can’t understand since I have no time to investigate because in a mental ward they drug me all the time. Drugs are the way of keeping you in the matrix, they make you not lose touch with reality.

Then in some time I found this fake book title: как управлять вселенной не привыкая внимания санитаров, which means “how to control the universe without the attention of psychiatric nurses”. This of course led me to total confusion, since there was no actual book on this topic.

Day by day I keep dreaming of search names, these include people’s names, location names, book names and anything I’ve never seen. I dream about ads and etc, this is because dreams are tailored to my lifestyle.

I listen closely what my favorite songs sing about, what my favorite movies talk about because I believe there is some truth to every sentence out there. But everything I find leads to more confusion.

That said: I don’t know if the earth is flat or round or triangle or hexagon or whatever. I always question my knowledge, which leads me to the fact that every single thought I have is external–based. This leads to thinking like this: If I was living alone without society I would be a monkey with no communication skills, no language, no matrix, no games, no music, no nothing.

To defy solipsism itself, I can say this: if solipsism were true I could go insane and live insane because all the world would shift, but there are people who plug me back to reality. Therefore I must not be alone even if I feel that way. But then again, if every single knowledge is external the internal is infant solipsism, which must be true inner knowledge, therefore it leads to confusion again.

Then I find some smart people philosophies and opinions which confirm my thoughts and then I find smart people philosophies and opinions which make me doubt, therefore there is knowledge which is countering each other, therefore neither must be true.

Since I have no scientific equipment, nor access to it I can’t test my doubts and thoughts. I’m left there to observe and make my conclusions, but I can’t since the knowledge is countering each other. Some knowledge comes from paranormal behavior, imagination, creativity, science and etc. Some knowledge is fiction and some nonfiction. Distinguishing fiction from nonfiction when you have schizophrenia is really hard, therefore it becomes really confusing.

I know that there is truth and there are lies. Some people lie to gain monetary benefits, some don’t know enough and some are way too smart to understand them, which leads to confusion of facts and fiction.

If you would be a drug addict – you would come up with the most amazing moves to get the next dose. I can see this in myself because I smoke, when I have no cigarettes due to financial problems, I just figure out how to get them, then I came to conclusion when you need something really bad – you can get it. I can’t make money my addiction for some reason. Which leads to belief that something is holding me back in this “matrix” or “simulation”, however you may call it.
Then I came to conclusion that there is some sort of stimulus which makes me do some things and not do the other things, which led to question my own free will.

I always ask myself: would I live this way if I could be living anyway and the clear answer is no, therefore my life is predetermined by someone else’s will. I don’t know a person in western culture who would not want to be rich, not work in a meaningless job position at McDonald’s or elsewhere.

Then I had many situations where I was nearly killed. Slight adjustments in other people’s behavior and I would be dead. And had many times where I asked God to kill me and end my life, therefore I came to conclusion that this universe is protecting me in a way. Since I can’t command God to do as I wish.

The universe itself is non-dual, but when I look closer: I find myself and everything else which works on autopilot without me. I came to conclusion that the subject living his own life is the main character in his life. There is nothing more important to his survival than survival of himself.

Sometime in my life I came to conclusion that there wasn’t time before someone could sense time. Time is subjective. Non-living objects can’t sense time, therefore time occurs when the first subject is born, which leads to belief, that this world has absolutely no meaning without the subject in it. In my case it’s me, in your case it’s you. The game can’t run without somebody spectating it. If nobody’s spectating there is no difference if the game runs or not.

Which leads to fact that the everything else is for the subject and not the subject for everything else. Non-living objects can’t experience the subject, but the subject can experience non-living objects. Does a frying pan know it exists? It probably does not, yet the subject knows it exists. Therefore the frying pan is meant for the subject, not the way around. You see the world, but you don’t know if the world sees you – you can only speculate and guess that it does. You can’t see yourself through the eyes of others. You can’t understand how other people perceive you.

And it leads me to belief that other people can’t understand you and perceive as you are to yourself. Simple example would be putting a red cup on the table and asking do you like the cup? Some people would say we like it, some would be neutral and some would not like it due to fact that the cup is red. Which makes my belief a fact – other people can’t understand and perceive you. Which leads us to fact that you should base your image of yourself on what you think is you and not what other people think of you, since they can’t understand you nor perceive you. Therefore you shouldn’t care what others think of you.

When we dig deeper, we understand that we can’t understand ourselves due to fact that our values are based on the social culture we are living. This meaning that all our knowledge is based on the external world and not the internal. If we live in a culture where muscular people are more valuable than fat – we can’t fit in. Which leads to fact that society has a standard for every individual. Individual has to be what social culture values, if he is a rebel, a bum or anything else in the eyes of the society, he has no value to the society, therefore he is an undervalued person and if the undervalued person states the fact that we are living in a simulated matrix style reality – nobody would believe him, but if the person is valued in a society and tells that we might be living in the matrix, this strikes a chord and look at everybody – everybody’s talking about the matrix, but there is no evidence, just confusion which leads people to various beliefs.

People can’t grasp what’s inside the universe, how would they grasp what’s outside of the universe? Even if we are living in the matrix and someday we will unplug: after death or other way. What’s stopping us from asking if the base reality isn’t another simulation?

And how many layers of simulations there are? These questions lead to total absurdity. Just because if we assume that this is a simulation and not the base reality and you’re plugged in. Someday you wake up from the simulation to your real body, then ask yourself, who’s controlling your real body? And then you wake up from another simulation to another simulation to another simulation and this is a paradox of infinity, because there always could be another simulation beneath the simulation you’re in right now and right then when you exit the previous simulation. And remember the deeper level of the simulation the more advanced it is. So we have infinite advancements which lead to insane absurdity due to fact that we humans can’t even grasp it.

If you could grasp it, you would create your own reality. From the infinite base reality, which leads to another absurdity and it sounds like this: could the subject be god who has removed his own abilities, but made his life the way he wanted? Could god kill himself?

If we assume we are living in the matrix, would there be a reason not to be a solipsist? Since we can’t know what is happening outside of our perception, can we sense that there must be a “program” or something else which creates all these random occurrences and coincidences? If this is a game: is it singleplayer or multiplayer? Or is half of them bots? There is a problem and we can’t test it. It’s just impossible to test if anybody else has consciousness, just because you can’t get inside the subject.

When you see somebody saying I’m god, you know it’s not truth, but when you say it yourself – you can’t know the truth, since the worldview is based on assumptions and what ifs.

The same with god. Did god create himself or was he created? If he was created, who created the creator of the creator and the creator, which also leads to infinite loop.

Who created the base reality? Did it create itself? If it was created it leads us to infinite loop which leads to total absurdity. If there is infinite realities in which you are living right now? The 103456 or the 101010101 or the ASFGFDHGH? Everything else to something external leads us to absurdity, just because there is no purpose in those realities in which you are not present.

I have a reality and you have a reality, this makes two realities, but I’m not sure about your reality and you’re not sure about mine. This we cannot test, we can only assume. You can’t come into my reality, I can’t come into your reality, just because reality is subjective. I’m talking about realities of the subject.

Okay, so the subject has a reality. So what is permitting the subject to have another and another ant another reality? Which leads us to reincarnation. The fuck knows how the subject got the reality, remember that the evidence we have is on the external world and not the internal. Without the subject [you or me] there is no purpose in the external world since it cannot be experienced by the subject, which leads to questioning the infinite realities of the subject and who is the subject?

I read somewhere that matter cannot be destroyed and energy can’t disappear. So for instance, you reserve some atoms in this universe. The atoms which make you you. So what’s stopping you from transforming into another subject? And then another, and another? Infinite realities for the subject make very much sense due to fact that reality must be experienced to be true.

If the universe is created once, what’s permitting it to create itself again and again again? If we know that there is experience from our experience. It makes sense to have multiple experiences, just because you can’t experience the world and the universe through one experience. If you could experience every subject out there with continuous or discontinuous memory, would you? I know you would, because games come out every year with new experiences and continuous experiences, which leads for the need to experience something in a digital or virtual space.

When we talk about reality layers and god layers it leads us to infinite loop absurdity. But if we talk about multiple or infinite subject realities in the same layer it makes a lot of sense. If there is no subject there is no reality.

From a standpoint of the subject – you have created yourself, which leads me back to creating your own reality. Let’s imagine we are god’s living for infinite time would it be more fun to create something temporary and erase our own memory? Dispose ourselves of our powers? And let the system work for us? From the standpoint of the subject everything else is just the background which works and does anything it wants. If I would be the god I would create everything so fucked up that even I couldn’t understand from my temporary standpoint. I would create everything so fucked up so I would have to go insane infinite times to understand nothing, just not to lose interest, which leads us back to solipsism and the reality of god.

Since god is god he doesn’t need a creator, he can create himself the way he wants, he can even forget that he is god, he can have a temporary body, just because he’s god. He can be you, he can be me and he can be everybody at once. He can be a frog, he can be your dog, your mom, your dad, he can be material, he can be immaterial and I’m not even religious. He could create a god for himself in which he would not believe and he could hide himself so well that nobody would find him nor prove him nor disprove him. He could fuck with our brains just for entertainment. He could shoot a plane with a jet fighter and then read the news about it and say poor bastards. He could touch your mind and drive you insane or make you a billionaire or a bum or whatever he prefers. God can be bad, god can be good and god could not interfere.

So we have a fact about god – we don’t know if he exists or not and this is a fact despite all assumptions of other people including me. So knowing real god’s intentions is absurd, therefore we can’t understand the meaning of our lives. For example there are questions in philosophy which will fuck your mind up and you’ll end up in a mental hospital with mental disturbance.

Going back to game development – game developer can create a game which will fuck you up so bad you can never recover. Game developer can create a bot, or a player, or bots and players or be the player as well as developer. Game developer can create a game for you, or for himself. In Lithuanian language god is called Dievas, similar to english word dev, which means developer.

Game developer has all attributes in his game that God might have in his. Game developer is external to his game, but he can be internal too as a player. Diving into similarities of the game world and our world we can see that developer creates a game for the player also known as the subject of the game. After the developer finishes one game as a player, he can give the game to someone else or create another game after another after another in an infinite loop just to entertain himself out of boredom or he can kill/delete the game and there are plenty of games which have games inside games, but those games just appear as layers but in fact are not.

The player or the subject can’t figure out how the game is built from inside the game, if the game is glitchless and bugless. The player can get out of the game with his character which leaves the character stuck in the game.

People like Tom Campbell tell that our consciousness it not local. This means that our consciousness is external. But if Tom would go insane, he would realize that consciousness is local, just because mental diseases have a tremendous impact onto your consciousness. If the consciousness is non local no drug could have an effect to your consciousness but it does and this proves consciousness is local and can be disturbed or altered with drugs. However we look we are in the brain and the subjective experience we have now is in our body. The experience is local.

Imagine two crows sitting on a tree, one eats an apple and the other observes. Since our bodies are moved by stimulus we are the one who smokes the cigarette and the one that observes that we smoke a cigarette. We have the material body which does the material stuff and we have the experience of doing stuff. So we have this mind-body problem. Body is in a material world and the mind is immaterial but made from the body and the same atoms. There can be a body without the mind, but there can’t be a mind without the body. If there could be a mind which is without the body it would experience everything since it had no limitations.
Smart people know that the mind is so limited just because you can’t fit all knowledge in it. Even if you fit all sane knowledge in it, you have to experience the insane knowledge and after you’ve experienced insane knowledge, there no longer is sane knowledge – therefore you can’t have both insane and sane.

Heading towards understanding of the knowledge sane people miss on knowledge of the insane. Insanity to a degree expands the sanity. If we look at inventions and something like planes we see that something is brought from the insanity. Inventions can’t come from nowhere, they must come from somewhere external. This leads to question the external from universe. Where do our thoughts come from? There should be informational source somewhere.

If we imagine atoms or lesser things as lego blocks which we can built and rearrange, this leads to question how do we know what to build if there are no instructions? And why we can’t built everything at once years ago? This leads to intelligence itself. How do I know what to write?

Back in the day I thought about intelligence. The lowest level of intelligence is reacting to external stimulus and the highest being breaking out of your own environment.

I’ll give you an absurd example which will fit just fine. Imagine a fish in the aquarium the minimum for it is to eat food and do the necessities of the body it has. But the most intellectual fish should figure out how to escape from the aquarium. Aquarium is not only a mental prison, but also a physical prison, but there is a problem for the fish around the aquarium there is no other water. The fish has to fuck with the mind of the owner to be let out to another water pool. Theoretically it’s possible for the fish, but practically no. Fish that lives in the aquarium must be maintained otherwise she dies. The owner creates an environment for the fish to be safe and secure, he loves the fish because otherwise he would flush her in the toilet.

This leads to question god again, does he care? And can we fuck with the greater will? There are examples in life of a greater will, which leads to questioning random events around us from the subjective standpoint.

The aquarium of the fish represents the comfort zone of the individual. In comfort individuals are semi-safe, being out of comfort gives a bigger opportunity and more risk to be uninstalled from life due to other fish and competition for the same resources.

A house cat which has never been outside has the curiosity to go outside, but if the drops from the balcony he’s scared as shit and then he never goes out. His fear limits his experience, he sacrifices his experience to be safe. And there’s a cat which was free all his life in the wilderness and then is trapped in the cage, whenever there’s a change he’ll try to escape because in a cage he goes insane.

This example leads to questioning your comfort zone. The cat in the wilderness has a bigger comfort zone, more opportunities and bigger risk of being dead and he has more experience than the house cat. This explains why we see people doing insane stuff – insane, non comfortable stuff gives you more experience.

So to wrap it up and conclude.

Are we living in the matrix? No, unless you go mentally disturbed and insane and then you might be living in the matrix and things might go even weirder.

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