Vygintas Varnas

Matrix Hacks

Month: June 2019 (page 1 of 4)

Was in the mental house.

Today I was visiting my friend in the mental house.

He’s doing okay. He told that he threw out tea-kettle out the window.

😀

‘Working’ with human attention.

Human attention is very valuable.

Humans can give you the lifestyle you want.

But human attention is short and rare.

Now they’re interested in what you do, the next day they are bored with you.

When I was viral, I got so much attention. But then everything faded.

It’s hard to go viral another time. I’ve tried – nothing happened.

To get human attention – you have to offer extraordinary value, or extraordinary entertainment. There’s no human attention in other things.

Casual bloggers like me, get very little human attention.

You can’t call casual blogging a business. Because it’s not a business.

It’s a hobby.

Work hard to get human attention, because without attention – your dream life won’t come true.

What WordPress Plugins I use.

I know some of you guys are bloggers.

And I know it’s hard to pick the right plugins.

  1. Ad Inserter.
  2. Cookie Notice.
  3. Disqus for WordPress.
  4. GA Google Analytics.
  5. Google XML Sitemaps.
  6. Limit Login Attempts Reloaded.
  7. Really Simple SSL.
  8. Simple Social Buttons.
  9. Top 10.
  10. Two Factor.
  11. Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

I won’t go into detail. These do what I need, maybe someday I’ll have more plugins.

WordPress theme is Hemingway.

Are we living in a Matrix?

The term Matrix refers to the movie “The Matrix”

The Matrix is simulated reality in base reality. Most likely in a computer.

Nobody knows for sure if we are living in a Matrix, there is no evidence and there probably won’t be since humans who are living in a Matrix can’t grasp anything beyond the Matrix itself.

Anybody living in a Matrix is limited to the system itself.

If you’re aware enough – you see that life works on it’s own. Grass grows, the planets rotate and the whole universe shifts and changes, the reality we both experience is so dynamic.

We can talk galaxy, atoms and anything in between.

Simulation hypothesis tells us that our world is created, just like people who told that our universe is created by God, an omnipotent and omnipresent being.

The problem occurs: that people till this day don’t know the meaning of our universe, since there is no scientific fact – everything is left there to speculate and guess.

Matrix-style simulation should not concern people. Human being is limited to the reality he experiences, there is no other reality you can experience. Sure you can experience altered consciousness states, but those delude the experience of reality.

We don’t know what happens after death of the subject, the individual. It is also left to speculation.

If we talk about computers, when you leave your programming window empty – nothing can run on it. But when you write code which makes computer function – you get some action.

When you stand in games like GTA5 near the window with your character, you see the same picture as if you stood in real life – everything out the window just runs. I hope you get the point.

There is a theory on solipsism, questioning the fact that we can’t know anything external since the external world is interpreted with our brain.

In virtual worlds you would expect bots who accompany the main character, therefore we don’t know if in our world there are bots. It is impossible to know that’s why you can’t deny solipsism and you can’t approve it – it is left for questioning.

History tells us that people don’t know if there is God, the same will happen with simulation theory.

If you pick a random game – you can finish playing at any time while in real life finishing a “game” would mean suicide and you still don’t know what happens after you kill yourself.

On the other hand, when you see all these people dying now and then – you really don’t know if they aren’t bots. That’s what solipsism questions.

There is a thing called: Infant solipsism.

Developmental psychologists commonly believe that infants are solipsist and that eventually children infer that others have experience much like theirs and reject solipsism.

I had a lot of hallucinations and coincidences, which lead me to believe that I live in simulated world, because if you look closely you can find a lot of coincidences.

But in my case it’s a belief, not a fact.

I kind of suffer from solipsism syndrome due to my mental illness.

Couple of days I wrote my name: Vygintas into Japanese with this letter pronunciation.

V – RU; Y – FU; G – Ji; I – Ki; N – TO; T – CHi; A – KA; S – ARi.

You get:

RU FU Ji Ki TO CHi KA ARi

And if you paste it to Google Translate

And translate to English, you get this:

There is only one

And if you translate it into Russian, you get this:

Существует только один

And if you translate this into Lithuanian, you get this:

Yra tik vienas

Since I know these three languages, I can’t be more confused and I really don’t know if there is a coincidence or not.

Somehow my name transliterated to japanese and then translated explains my solipsism syndrome. It confuses me a lot.

To me simulation hypothesis looks very real, but as I told – it’s a belief, not a fact.

Are we living in a matrix? Maybe, I don’t know.

To get a feeling of “living in the matrix” you have to be somewhat mentally disturbed. People who aren’t mentally ill don’t get this feeling.

When I got my first psychotic episode, the world started talking to me: television, music, ads, just name it. Everything was perfectly tailored for me, I saw some insane stuff which altered my perception of reality, since then I wasn’t the same again. Before then I didn’t know anything about simulation theory. But I started Googling and saw people talking about it since 1977 by Philip K Dick and then 2003 by Nick Bostrom and in 2013 by me and a lot more people that I’ve found including Elon Musk.

I wouldn’t talk about the matrix if I haven’t had a personal experience and so much coincidence during mental breakdown periods and normal life periods. There’s just too much coincidence in my life. Once during psychotic episode I had the feeling of detaching from the matrix and I knew kung-fu, Chinese and many more stuff, but when they drug me back to real life I instantly forget everything. Usually when I have my psychotic breaks I tend to forget how to understand the world, once felt having a god mode until they took me to the mental ward.

I know I spend a lot of times with computers and the web. Sometimes I have dreams of search names which lead me to weird things like this, I know this is in Russian language, but if you’ll watch it you’ll understand it because it’s animation. This animated serie explains all my life, yet there is no part two.

Then once I bought six cheapest lottery tickets during my mental breakdown. I gave two to the cashier, two to my friend and two to myself, we mixed it randomly before I gave them away and you know what? Every one of us had one ticket which was a loss and the other ticket with 20 cents on it.

The more I look online the more I find justification for my hallucinations I had.

There is something interesting in a mental breakdown I can’t understand since I have no time to investigate because in a mental ward they drug me all the time. Drugs are the way of keeping you in the matrix, they make you not lose touch with reality.

Then in some time I found this fake book title: как управлять вселенной не привыкая внимания санитаров, which means “how to control the universe without the attention of psychiatric nurses”. This of course led me to total confusion, since there was no actual book on this topic.

Day by day I keep dreaming of search names, these include people’s names, location names, book names and anything I’ve never seen. I dream about ads and etc, this is because dreams are tailored to my lifestyle.

I listen closely what my favorite songs sing about, what my favorite movies talk about because I believe there is some truth to every sentence out there. But everything I find leads to more confusion.

That said: I don’t know if the earth is flat or round or triangle or hexagon or whatever. I always question my knowledge, which leads me to the fact that every single thought I have is external–based. This leads to thinking like this: If I was living alone without society I would be a monkey with no communication skills, no language, no matrix, no games, no music, no nothing.

To defy solipsism itself, I can say this: if solipsism were true I could go insane and live insane because all the world would shift, but there are people who plug me back to reality. Therefore I must not be alone even if I feel that way. But then again, if every single knowledge is external the internal is infant solipsism, which must be true inner knowledge, therefore it leads to confusion again.

Then I find some smart people philosophies and opinions which confirm my thoughts and then I find smart people philosophies and opinions which make me doubt, therefore there is knowledge which is countering each other, therefore neither must be true.

Since I have no scientific equipment, nor access to it I can’t test my doubts and thoughts. I’m left there to observe and make my conclusions, but I can’t since the knowledge is countering each other. Some knowledge comes from paranormal behavior, imagination, creativity, science and etc. Some knowledge is fiction and some nonfiction. Distinguishing fiction from nonfiction when you have schizophrenia is really hard, therefore it becomes really confusing.

I know that there is truth and there are lies. Some people lie to gain monetary benefits, some don’t know enough and some are way too smart to understand them, which leads to confusion of facts and fiction.

If you would be a drug addict – you would come up with the most amazing moves to get the next dose. I can see this in myself because I smoke, when I have no cigarettes due to financial problems, I just figure out how to get them, then I came to conclusion when you need something really bad – you can get it. I can’t make money my addiction for some reason. Which leads to belief that something is holding me back in this “matrix” or “simulation”, however you may call it.
Then I came to conclusion that there is some sort of stimulus which makes me do some things and not do the other things, which led to question my own free will.

I always ask myself: would I live this way if I could be living anyway and the clear answer is no, therefore my life is predetermined by someone else’s will. I don’t know a person in western culture who would not want to be rich, not work in a meaningless job position at McDonald’s or elsewhere.

Then I had many situations where I was nearly killed. Slight adjustments in other people’s behavior and I would be dead. And had many times where I asked God to kill me and end my life, therefore I came to conclusion that this universe is protecting me in a way. Since I can’t command God to do as I wish.

The universe itself is non-dual, but when I look closer: I find myself and everything else which works on autopilot without me. I came to conclusion that the subject living his own life is the main character in his life. There is nothing more important to his survival than survival of himself.

Sometime in my life I came to conclusion that there wasn’t time before someone could sense time. Time is subjective. Non-living objects can’t sense time, therefore time occurs when the first subject is born, which leads to belief, that this world has absolutely no meaning without the subject in it. In my case it’s me, in your case it’s you. The game can’t run without somebody spectating it. If nobody’s spectating there is no difference if the game runs or not.

Which leads to fact that the everything else is for the subject and not the subject for everything else. Non-living objects can’t experience the subject, but the subject can experience non-living objects. Does a frying pan know it exists? It probably does not, yet the subject knows it exists. Therefore the frying pan is meant for the subject, not the way around. You see the world, but you don’t know if the world sees you – you can only speculate and guess that it does. You can’t see yourself through the eyes of others. You can’t understand how other people perceive you.

And it leads me to belief that other people can’t understand you and perceive as you are to yourself. Simple example would be putting a red cup on the table and asking do you like the cup? Some people would say we like it, some would be neutral and some would not like it due to fact that the cup is red. Which makes my belief a fact – other people can’t understand and perceive you. Which leads us to fact that you should base your image of yourself on what you think is you and not what other people think of you, since they can’t understand you nor perceive you. Therefore you shouldn’t care what others think of you.

When we dig deeper, we understand that we can’t understand ourselves due to fact that our values are based on the social culture we are living. This meaning that all our knowledge is based on the external world and not the internal. If we live in a culture where muscular people are more valuable than fat – we can’t fit in. Which leads to fact that society has a standard for every individual. Individual has to be what social culture values, if he is a rebel, a bum or anything else in the eyes of the society, he has no value to the society, therefore he is an undervalued person and if the undervalued person states the fact that we are living in a simulated matrix style reality – nobody would believe him, but if the person is valued in a society and tells that we might be living in the matrix, this strikes a chord and look at everybody – everybody’s talking about the matrix, but there is no evidence, just confusion which leads people to various beliefs.

People can’t grasp what’s inside the universe, how would they grasp what’s outside of the universe? Even if we are living in the matrix and someday we will unplug: after death or other way. What’s stopping us from asking if the base reality isn’t another simulation?

And how many layers of simulations there are? These questions lead to total absurdity. Just because if we assume that this is a simulation and not the base reality and you’re plugged in. Someday you wake up from the simulation to your real body, then ask yourself, who’s controlling your real body? And then you wake up from another simulation to another simulation to another simulation and this is a paradox of infinity, because there always could be another simulation beneath the simulation you’re in right now and right then when you exit the previous simulation. And remember the deeper level of the simulation the more advanced it is. So we have infinite advancements which lead to insane absurdity due to fact that we humans can’t even grasp it.

If you could grasp it, you would create your own reality. From the infinite base reality, which leads to another absurdity and it sounds like this: could the subject be god who has removed his own abilities, but made his life the way he wanted? Could god kill himself?

If we assume we are living in the matrix, would there be a reason not to be a solipsist? Since we can’t know what is happening outside of our perception, can we sense that there must be a “program” or something else which creates all these random occurrences and coincidences? If this is a game: is it singleplayer or multiplayer? Or is half of them bots? There is a problem and we can’t test it. It’s just impossible to test if anybody else has consciousness, just because you can’t get inside the subject.

When you see somebody saying I’m god, you know it’s not truth, but when you say it yourself – you can’t know the truth, since the worldview is based on assumptions and what ifs.

The same with god. Did god create himself or was he created? If he was created, who created the creator of the creator and the creator, which also leads to infinite loop.

Who created the base reality? Did it create itself? If it was created it leads us to infinite loop which leads to total absurdity. If there is infinite realities in which you are living right now? The 103456 or the 101010101 or the ASFGFDHGH? Everything else to something external leads us to absurdity, just because there is no purpose in those realities in which you are not present.

I have a reality and you have a reality, this makes two realities, but I’m not sure about your reality and you’re not sure about mine. This we cannot test, we can only assume. You can’t come into my reality, I can’t come into your reality, just because reality is subjective. I’m talking about realities of the subject.

Okay, so the subject has a reality. So what is permitting the subject to have another and another ant another reality? Which leads us to reincarnation. The fuck knows how the subject got the reality, remember that the evidence we have is on the external world and not the internal. Without the subject [you or me] there is no purpose in the external world since it cannot be experienced by the subject, which leads to questioning the infinite realities of the subject and who is the subject?

I read somewhere that matter cannot be destroyed and energy can’t disappear. So for instance, you reserve some atoms in this universe. The atoms which make you you. So what’s stopping you from transforming into another subject? And then another, and another? Infinite realities for the subject make very much sense due to fact that reality must be experienced to be true.

If the universe is created once, what’s permitting it to create itself again and again again? If we know that there is experience from our experience. It makes sense to have multiple experiences, just because you can’t experience the world and the universe through one experience. If you could experience every subject out there with continuous or discontinuous memory, would you? I know you would, because games come out every year with new experiences and continuous experiences, which leads for the need to experience something in a digital or virtual space.

When we talk about reality layers and god layers it leads us to infinite loop absurdity. But if we talk about multiple or infinite subject realities in the same layer it makes a lot of sense. If there is no subject there is no reality.

From a standpoint of the subject – you have created yourself, which leads me back to creating your own reality. Let’s imagine we are god’s living for infinite time would it be more fun to create something temporary and erase our own memory? Dispose ourselves of our powers? And let the system work for us? From the standpoint of the subject everything else is just the background which works and does anything it wants. If I would be the god I would create everything so fucked up that even I couldn’t understand from my temporary standpoint. I would create everything so fucked up so I would have to go insane infinite times to understand nothing, just not to lose interest, which leads us back to solipsism and the reality of god.

Since god is god he doesn’t need a creator, he can create himself the way he wants, he can even forget that he is god, he can have a temporary body, just because he’s god. He can be you, he can be me and he can be everybody at once. He can be a frog, he can be your dog, your mom, your dad, he can be material, he can be immaterial and I’m not even religious. He could create a god for himself in which he would not believe and he could hide himself so well that nobody would find him nor prove him nor disprove him. He could fuck with our brains just for entertainment. He could shoot a plane with a jet fighter and then read the news about it and say poor bastards. He could touch your mind and drive you insane or make you a billionaire or a bum or whatever he prefers. God can be bad, god can be good and god could not interfere.

So we have a fact about god – we don’t know if he exists or not and this is a fact despite all assumptions of other people including me. So knowing real god’s intentions is absurd, therefore we can’t understand the meaning of our lives. For example there are questions in philosophy which will fuck your mind up and you’ll end up in a mental hospital with mental disturbance.

Going back to game development – game developer can create a game which will fuck you up so bad you can never recover. Game developer can create a bot, or a player, or bots and players or be the player as well as developer. Game developer can create a game for you, or for himself. In Lithuanian language god is called Dievas, similar to english word dev, which means developer.

Game developer has all attributes in his game that God might have in his. Game developer is external to his game, but he can be internal too as a player. Diving into similarities of the game world and our world we can see that developer creates a game for the player also known as the subject of the game. After the developer finishes one game as a player, he can give the game to someone else or create another game after another after another in an infinite loop just to entertain himself out of boredom or he can kill/delete the game and there are plenty of games which have games inside games, but those games just appear as layers but in fact are not.

The player or the subject can’t figure out how the game is built from inside the game, if the game is glitchless and bugless. The player can get out of the game with his character which leaves the character stuck in the game.

People like Tom Campbell tell that our consciousness it not local. This means that our consciousness is external. But if Tom would go insane, he would realize that consciousness is local, just because mental diseases have a tremendous impact onto your consciousness. If the consciousness is non local no drug could have an effect to your consciousness but it does and this proves consciousness is local and can be disturbed or altered with drugs. However we look we are in the brain and the subjective experience we have now is in our body. The experience is local.

Imagine two crows sitting on a tree, one eats an apple and the other observes. Since our bodies are moved by stimulus we are the one who smokes the cigarette and the one that observes that we smoke a cigarette. We have the material body which does the material stuff and we have the experience of doing stuff. So we have this mind-body problem. Body is in a material world and the mind is immaterial but made from the body and the same atoms. There can be a body without the mind, but there can’t be a mind without the body. If there could be a mind which is without the body it would experience everything since it had no limitations.
Smart people know that the mind is so limited just because you can’t fit all knowledge in it. Even if you fit all sane knowledge in it, you have to experience the insane knowledge and after you’ve experienced insane knowledge, there no longer is sane knowledge – therefore you can’t have both insane and sane.

Heading towards understanding of the knowledge sane people miss on knowledge of the insane. Insanity to a degree expands the sanity. If we look at inventions and something like planes we see that something is brought from the insanity. Inventions can’t come from nowhere, they must come from somewhere external. This leads to question the external from universe. Where do our thoughts come from? There should be informational source somewhere.

If we imagine atoms or lesser things as lego blocks which we can built and rearrange, this leads to question how do we know what to build if there are no instructions? And why we can’t built everything at once years ago? This leads to intelligence itself. How do I know what to write?

Back in the day I thought about intelligence. The lowest level of intelligence is reacting to external stimulus and the highest being breaking out of your own environment.

I’ll give you an absurd example which will fit just fine. Imagine a fish in the aquarium the minimum for it is to eat food and do the necessities of the body it has. But the most intellectual fish should figure out how to escape from the aquarium. Aquarium is not only a mental prison, but also a physical prison, but there is a problem for the fish around the aquarium there is no other water. The fish has to fuck with the mind of the owner to be let out to another water pool. Theoretically it’s possible for the fish, but practically no. Fish that lives in the aquarium must be maintained otherwise she dies. The owner creates an environment for the fish to be safe and secure, he loves the fish because otherwise he would flush her in the toilet.

This leads to question god again, does he care? And can we fuck with the greater will? There are examples in life of a greater will, which leads to questioning random events around us from the subjective standpoint.

The aquarium of the fish represents the comfort zone of the individual. In comfort individuals are semi-safe, being out of comfort gives a bigger opportunity and more risk to be uninstalled from life due to other fish and competition for the same resources.

A house cat which has never been outside has the curiosity to go outside, but if the drops from the balcony he’s scared as shit and then he never goes out. His fear limits his experience, he sacrifices his experience to be safe. And there’s a cat which was free all his life in the wilderness and then is trapped in the cage, whenever there’s a change he’ll try to escape because in a cage he goes insane.

This example leads to questioning your comfort zone. The cat in the wilderness has a bigger comfort zone, more opportunities and bigger risk of being dead and he has more experience than the house cat. This explains why we see people doing insane stuff – insane, non comfortable stuff gives you more experience.

So to wrap it up and conclude.

Are we living in the matrix? No, unless you go mentally disturbed and insane and then you might be living in the matrix and things might go even weirder.

Loving life as it is.

I want to break it to you – you might never achieve your goals.

I know, you might have some ambition, but at first people don’t believe in you. Nobody cares, people laugh, ignore and then you win, only if you stand the test of time.

Many people have dreams, many people would wish life was different. I know I wish because I have expectations and when you have expectations – you’ll be disappointed.

It’s better to stop expecting great gifts of life. Sure, people can give you money, but they’ll give only if they like you.

Most people are no name people. It’s rare to be popular, it’s even rarer to be famous, rich.

I know you want it, because I want it.

Money would make life hassle free.

But since we don’t have money. We then wish that something happened. And most of the time it’s a miracle, if it happens.

But for most people it doesn’t happen. Life is hard work.

So what do you do when nothing works?

I don’t know. You just have to love life and its small joys.

Life could give us a lot. There are rich people, there are connections. There’s everything. But what if life give you Jack’s ass? You sure don’t want to stick your dick in there.

I don’t have all the answers.

But average life is underrated. It really is – underrated.

Most people are mediocre and average. Mediocrity is common. We can’t all be successful. Because success is a tough game.

That said.

We can only choose to love our life or to be angry about it.

Depression is common these days. Most people are depressed, because they can’t fulfill their dreams. Everyone wants to live happily.

I don’t know a person who wants to live a miserable life.

Me, personally, I’m a miserable person. I just don’t know how to do things. I only know how to write – poorly.

There’s a legend, that scientists searched for the happiest man alive and they found one man in India, who was the happiest man. He was without money, without shiny clothes, barely had food, but he was happy because he was alive.

These stories enrich our lives and the moral of this story is to love our lives as they are.

We want more, always, because we are western people. Western people say do more, consume more, hard work, but maybe we just need to chill and relax (chillax).

Sure work is a honorable thing, but only laziness will make you happy.

Be lazy, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But if you have this life, why won’t you enjoy it?

Do you enjoy your life?

I sure do, sometimes, it’s hard to enjoy life all the days. But I’m trying. Trying as hard as I can.

Changing one’s life requires a lot of energy. I don’t know how the world works, maybe I’m somewhat delusional.

But nobody knows what reality is. Like Morpheus, from the Matrix, said life is just chemical signals interpreted by your brain.

But why can’t life be different?

I know that you’ll die with regret if you won’t try to change your life. And I know that you’ll die with disappointment if you have expectations.

So it’s better to drop your expectations and just go for your dream.

The worst thing that will happen – you’ll fail. But you’ll fail if you don’t try.

So. Just do it and try your best.

Love life as it is, because there is no other life you may have.

Pursuing the dream.

Everybody wants to live the dream.

And it’s a good thing.

Probably everyone wants to live a hassle free life.

Life is a hassle. Life itself has a lot of issues. And life is harsh, dull, boring unless you make it exciting.

But the problem with money is that people themselves choose to pay for projects they like. You can spend an entire life writing and creating books, content and you’ll earn nothing.

That’s the starving artists way. And most writers are starving artists, one of the books I’ve read told that reality is that one book is sold to one person. And that’s true.

We all want to live the dream. But our dreams are different.

Since the beginning of blogs. I knew that I’ll be a blogger, but I waited 10 years before I started a blog. Now I’m paying the price of stalling.

But 10 years ago I was young and dumb. Now 10 years later. I’m an old fart and still dumb.

I just don’t know what it takes to be next Stephen King. It requires a lot. In art – recognition is everything. Without recognition you can create as much as you want. Nobody’s going to care.

People start caring about you when you win. And winning – man that’s tough. I never won in life. And to be honest I’ll doubt that I’ll ever win.

People just don’t care. Nobody cares if my blog has a new post, well some people care. I see them in my stats.

But a writer has fans whom he doesn’t know anything about.

Writing isn’t a personal relationship. Writing is ‘business’. A writer creates a consumable product and the reader consumes the product.

That’s they way we all are living.

We consume and not care about the effort it takes to create a consumable product. It’s good when you have it, but it’s bad when you don’t.

Everybody wants the same thing. Tell me a person, who wouldn’t want the time, the location and the money freedom? Everybody would want that.

I imagine myself traveling, writing this blog, getting some donors to pay. I personally don’t want to sell anything. Because business is a harsh thing. The competition is stiff. Many people don’t know how to run a business – me included.

But as long as I have a dream. I can work towards my goal now and then, everyday, or occasionally. I know than I’m doing progress.

If you never wrote anything, you might think that writing is easy – you just write and give your crap to read. But it’s hard because nobody wants to read. Reading is a task that requires effort.

Many people are ambitionless, if you would give them freedom of choice – many people wouldn’t know what to choose.

And we all have a choice. We can choose what we want to do with life. As Schwarzenegger told many people don’t know what they want.

But when you want, you then can pick a path of your life.

Drifting through life means you don’t make any tangible progress.

And progress is important. You want to progress through life, because life gets tougher and tougher over time. Our childhood is easy, we don’t have to make any decisions, then in our teens, we have ambitions, but our ambitions are killed by the reality. Our dreams are always bigger than reality, but reality kills our dreams.

Reality wants to kills us, because reality is hostile. Most animals see us as food. They want to eat us. You can’t make a business with a shark.

And people, they support the one’s they love. Others, the unloved one’s, have to think how to gain some love. Because without collective love you can’t build anything. We, the people, choose ourselves what kinda world we want to live in. We make the world.

Nature by itself is beautiful, but it’s harsh, it has no mercy.

And then, when you have everything figured out – you then have to grind.

And most people avoid grinding. Nobody wants to grind and to show up, because it takes time and we need money now. If only money was in the now. Sure, in some professions money is in the now, but in writing it may never come.

History tells us that the best writers, were recognized only after their death. That’s what true writing is, because people can’t recognize a genius. Now we’re all connected and people still can’t find genius.

I’m not telling that I’m a genius. No, no way.

Real writers, who write from the heart will be disappointed most of the time, because nobody sees the genius.

You, yourself decide if you’re a genius or not.

But if you have a dream, then keep grinding until you see a result in your pocket. You don’t have to be in sales. You just have to grind, it’s all about the grind. Many people say it’s hard work to get things done and it is, unless you’re fucking lucky. Like some people are. But those who are lucky, fame fades when you can’t keep up with your own work.

That said.

Grind and keep it going.

Tomorrow I go to the mental house.

Okay, so first things first.

I now know where my friend is hospitalized. So tomorrow I’ll go to visit him in the mental house.

Today I met my another friend we ate a kebab, and then my mom ordered some pizza.

I returned him 10€. We talked a bit, then we went home.

Wish me luck to find that mental house.

Your main problem is lack of money.

In capitalism we all need money. We put a dollar sign on every god damn thing.

And what do we have?

A generation of unhealthy and mentally ill people, because most people think daily “How to get money?

This is my problem. Paranoid schizophrenia doesn’t seem as bad as not having money. I want to be honest I struggle with money. Money is a major issue for me. Because I hate capitalism so bad.

We have to pay for everything, we have to work, obey and serve.

That said. I assume you’re struggling with the same problem.

Money is the best antidepressant.

Money heals. Money won’t make you feel bad.

I kinda got used to the fact that I don’t have money. Because to be honest I don’t want to sell anything. My products are lame, the only good product I have is my blog.

If you struggle with money tell me in the comments.

I know I would be a philanthropist, if I was okay with money. But since I’m a bum and my creative endeavors don’t work. I kinda decided to be a nonprofit writer. I write in my blog.

In capitalism, where we have to pay for everything, money is the biggest problem. The lack of money.

Back in the day I used to make money – now I don’t. Back in the day I thought if I do what I know best money should come. But it didn’t.

And it makes me very upset that I can’t make a living from writing. Of course I’m perfecting my writing everyday.

It kinda sucks when you can’t have a dream job. When you can’t earn with what you know best. Capitalism isn’t fair. That’s for sure.

Many people here in Lithuania can’t afford a car. So why do we talk about money? My donors only donate me few bucks. That’s not enough to even host my blog or by a domain name.

I don’t want to be in business. I like the idea of nonprofit, but how do nonprofits survive? From donors – you guessed it.

When money is the main issue. You never know when you’re going to be kicked out of your room. If not my mom. I would be on the streets because the disability paycheck is a joke.

Lithuania is a joke, a funny country with smart people who can’t make the country right. Lithuanians watch pirated movies because they can’t afford to go to the cinema. 😀

Most Lithuanians have problems with money. It’s a cheap ass country.

Visit Lithuania, if you like partying and drinking. It’s cheap to drink here. That’s why most people drink here. It’s a country of alcoholics. Most people I know – drink. I don’t know not a single, my age, person who doesn’t drink or haven’t drank.

Your problems arise because you don’t have money.

Reason to stop thinking right now!

If you’re reading my blog – you must be an average Joe, just like me and my dog – we both are average.

All the thinking is done by the matrix. Other people think for us so we don’t have to.

Imagine, people are doing vaccines, drugs, flying rovers to Mars, sending drones to Pluto and Uranus. And doing more random things.

That suggests to me that human thought is so advanced, that we’re both the ones who actually are empty headed. Mindless. Brainless.

If human thought is so advanced, why do we bother thinking at all?

We will never come up with a plan how to mine asteroids. Or make a billion bucks. That said I want you to stop thinking this instant, because you will never think anything new.

There was a time I discovered simulation hypothesis. I did it by myself and found out that people are talking about simulation hypothesis since year 1977. Later Nick Bostrom introduced the simulation hypothesis. Now people aren’t laughing that much.

The problem with us is that our brain is too weak to make such claims. I sure was thinking when I was younger. I kinda noticed that the Earth is round by looking at the shadows of the Earth on the Moon.

But I’m not the first. While I love thinking I never thought of an idea first. That’s why thinking is a lame occupation. Sure you can think. I can prohibit you, but what can you think of?

Tell me in the comments your idea. What are you thinking about? And I’m going to tell ya, that it’s probably nonsense. Congrats on thinking, but I doubt you’ll ever come up with unique idea. Therefore I doubt you can execute that idea.

It’s all about execution, not ideas. Ideas are easy – every man alive can come up with an idea. But executing the idea is the hardest part.

I stopped thinking. Once, during my psychosis episode, I thought so deeply that I ended up realizing it’s to difficult to come up with something tangible.

How the hell people see atoms, and lesser particles? To me – it’s impossible. We all are bound to believe. Some believe in God, Some believe in atoms and quarks. Some believe the Earth is flat – and these people aren’t stupid people. They just don’t know some things. Some believe the Moon is a hologram. That said. You can think of an idea, but that will be ridiculous idea. Nobody understands the world fully. We all have certain image of the world.

But I can tell you that if you read my blog, you are smart. Most people are just dumb people. Do you know how I know that? I just talk with them and they talk pure nonsense. Okay, not all people, not most. Just the one’s I’ve met. These people are ridiculously dumb and that’s a curse for smart people. To see, dumb people.

Maybe this post is misleading. Most people should think, because the nonsense they talk is ridiculous. But if you read my blog, you should stop thinking and start reading more. Because most ideas you think of, or you try to come up with are already known. Reading and learning is faster than thinking on your own.

I have this Lithuanian blog, which is dead. And there are 350~ posts mostly about the matrix. You can check it here.

How to make some money online?

I’ve been online for 10 years, somewhat, and only after 10 years I realized to start a blog.

Since I’m nonprofit writer. I can tell you the secret how to make money while you sleep. It’s just one word.

Systems.

You gotta work with systems which work for you. But don’t get me wrong. Creating a system that generates money is really hard.

First thing you want to make videos and have your own website.

Then you offer value to other people, sell products, get donations – whatever works for you.

If you know how to draw, create daily drawing videos.

Personally I made some money online and I realized I want more. I choose donation-based ‘business’. I’m like a charity which works for you guys. I hope you can support me.

Anyway.

I don’t want to get all into details how to start a blog, how to monetize it.

I just want to talk about systems.

Systems like Youtube videos, blogs and other websites work 24/7. People come to visit those videos and blogs and you convert the traffic.

There are thousand ways to convert the traffic. You just have to pick the one which works for you best. Personally for me donations work.

I make money out of donations.

It’s not a lot, but it’s some.

Why sell something, when you have nothing to sell? Why bother trying to create ideal products? When you can take someone else’s product and sell it.

Personally me, I’m not into business.

I hope this text makes any sense.

With systems you can earn money while you sleep. Meaning that you have develop a system which generates you income, but it’s hard.

My every post is an invitation to donate or subscribe to the list. Personally I don’t sell anything. My blog is my product.

But when you have a system all you need is traffic. So you better become a marketer. Because without marketing none of the system will work.

Creating a good blog isn’t that hard. It requires patience and persistence. And of course you must love to write.

By the way, webcam vlogs don’t work on Youtube. Nobody watches those.

Why outcasts are successful.

Being different is hard. If you’re different you won’t be accepted withing the group. People like alike people.

People don’t befriend people who are different.

Being successful means carving your own pathway. And success – it’s sure fucking hard. Everyone thrives towards success.

If you’re a social outcast.

Try to envision your own life. Live the way you want, because the society won’t accept you no matter what you do – because you’re different.

Social outcasts are unique people, but being unique doesn’t mean useful. Social outcast has to be somehow useful to others, but it’s damn hard. I’m somewhat a social outcast. Very small group of people care about what I do. Being disabled is a criteria that makes your life harder.

Sure not everyone can be a leader. But social outcasts tend to be leaders, independent thinkers, innovators, if I may.

Living itself is a harsh thing.

Everyone is working and social outcast has to find a way. How to live the dream, if you don’t live the dream – why live at all? What’s the point of doing chores, going to work and getting paid just to spend all that cash.

During my life I realized that money is a temporary thing. It comes and goes out. Then you’re empty handed again.

There has to be some secret in life which lets people become rich. Personally me, I haven’t found the secret.

I just have one thing to say. OWN WHAT YOU WORK ON!

Don’t work for other people, work for yourself and maybe someday your dream life will come to you.

I own this blog, this blog is a money making machine. Well, it’s not yet, but someday it will be – because I believe.

Being an outcast means being different. And different people are the ones who make all the innovation. Independent thought is what counts.

You want to push out to the world your own ideas. If you’re an outcast you’re most likely not following anyone on social media. You want followers and you yourself are not a follower.

Real leaders aren’t followers.

Leading requires a lot of guts. Because you want to lead people to victory.

But people have to notice you. People have to see what great things you offer. Personally me, I offer a way to escape the matrix. Meaning how to lead a parasitic lifestyle, not work, rebel and disobey.

That’s great when you want more time on your hands. Don’t spend your time working for others. Do something that you’ll be proud of when you’ll die.

That said – lead, don’t follow.

If you’re an outcast – you’re born for success.

Nothing works and nobody cares.

I tried many ideas during my life and none of them worked when it comes to profit. I realized that nothing works and nobody cares.

Nobody cares if you’re successful or not.

In this place everyone is for himself.

So I decided, if nothing works. I’ll make it work, then I started this blog since I love writing.

I tried playing guitar, music composition, rapping, piano, cycling, gym, video games, vlogging, blogging – nothing worked. And that’s a shame.

If nothing works, try to pick one thing that you’ll do till the end of days.

Nobody cares about you because everyone is busy making ends meet.

Everyone is working for that little buck.

And working with peoples attention is really hard. Sometimes it appears that you can go viral. I was viral, but people instantly forgot about me. What a shame.

That said. I realized that there must be something wrong with me and the way I do things. But whatever. I’ll try to do my best to make this blog count. I’m prepared to write it for long years to come.

I wonder. If blogging doesn’t work – what could work for me?

You see, people can’t teach you how to make money – everything is so subjective that money making schemes don’t work for everyone. That said, don’t look for scheme. Try to show up everyday on your website for couple of years. And then look what happens.

If nothings works why then bother trying?

We have reached a crisis, where people don’t know what to do due to conflicting information on the web and in real life.

For me – nothing has worked, because people don’t really care. Period.

More posts don’t equal more traffic.

When you start blogging, you might be tempting to create a lot of articles just like I do.

At first I had this belief, that the more articles my blog has the more traffic I will get, but that’s just a myth.

So to debunk this myth I can tell you that my blog has 700 articles and the traffic is just 60-70 visitors per day. I never reached organic traffic. Most of my traffic is direct traffic. I did something with my computer that lead my traffic to increase x7. First I got just 10-20 views.

You know – companies like Google want to get money for views. Nobody cares how many articles you have – if you don’t pay you won’t get the views.

So what to do in this situation – should you continue to produce content?

Personally I think you should publish one post a day. I publish more because I have a lot of time and I like to write.

But most posts online don’t get any reads. That’s the reality – nobody cares about our blogs, nobody cares if our blogs have new posts or they don’t.

Sure having a lot of posts increases your chance to get more views, but that’s just a slight increase in traffic.

I say. Show up on your blog daily for 4 years and if after 4 years your blog isn’t profitable – there won’t be any profit and you can ditch your blog.

Four years is kinda essential. At first Google needs to figure out if your blog is interesting to other people. I don’t know how the algorithm works. But if you’re a great marketer – you can have a profitable blog. It’s all in marketing, not writing.

If you’re like me, writing a lot of posts. I can say that you’re just wasting your time. This is what I do. I waste my time with this blog.

But since this blog is a nonprofit blog. So you know. It’s good to waste time.

Don’t write more than one post a day. It’s not worth it unless you have the time to write.

Believe in yourself.

You know, I’m not this motivational guy who’ll tell that you can achieve anything. Most things are hard to achieve and some of those things require a lot of guts.

I just want to tell you – that if you have an idea, it’s not enough. You need perfect execution. Making good things require a lot of people. You can’t make a good musical clip alone, it requires 100 people. That is, if you want people.

But believing in yourself is the stepping stone towards great goals.

You don’t have to believe in god, believe in yourself.

Because the only person who can make a change in your life is yourself.

We’re all different people, we all have different goals and different lifestyles. It’s hard to get motivated when goal achieving is hard.

But you need a drive, an inner motivation. None of the external motivation will help. I tried many times to get motivated with external motivation, but I used to get motivated for one day and then I just quit.

I like quitting things, because most things aren’t for me.

I know I’m a failure, I just like to write and share my life’s secrets.

There is no secrets. Like Nike says: “Just do it”.

Personally me, I say don’t do it.

Doing this thing, for years and actually taking some risk requires a lot of belief.

I know my blog will be popular someday. But that day didn’t come yet.

Anyway. Believe in yourself, because what else you’ve got left?

Doctor didn’t ask me any questions!

Today I was to make my monthly Xeplion injection.

The doctor was nice, he didn’t ask me any dumb questions.

But the lady in the registry wasn’t nice. She almost yelled at me.

Today I slept till 12 o’clock, didn’t go out with the dog.

Today is fucking cold in Vilnius, Lithuania.

I don’t know what else I will do today. Maybe I’ll go to my grandma, but it’s cold… Well not cold, but not warm.

Probably will stay at home.

The dog got drunk.

Today we were with my friend and my brother, here in the neighborhood. I took the dog and she was playing and accidentally spilled bottle of beer.

Then she started drinking the beer. Man it wasn’t a lot of beer, but as she’s a young puppy she got drunk, started getting angry and started to bark, started to piss everywhere.

Anyway we had a wonderful time, we were outside for couple of hours.

Today I slept till 12 o’clock and then there was rain, so I didn’t go out with my dog in the morning.

Today I kinda got rested from writing and my break was okay. Now I’m ready to write more articles. Tomorrow I’m going to do my Xeplion 150mg injection. Gonna visit my psychiatrist. I wonder will he ask me why I’m not working and even not considering to work. He sometimes asks me what I’m doing in my free time, I always tell him that I write. And he always asks what’s the topic and I say I write a diary.

Yes, my blog is a diary – sort of.

Two months till my birthday. On August 24th. I’m an old fart, the next year will be 31. Wonder what 31 year will bring me.

This year was kinda lame, was two times in the mental house, had a psychosis, because the fucking doctor didn’t prescribe me Cisordinol.

Now I have my Cisordinol and I’m kinda fine. Don’t have those bad days when my head feels like vacuum.

I realized that I’m an dumb asshole. I just don’t get all that blogging point, but whatever. I live.

Loving what you do, probably won’t bring you money.

I love what I do, what can be better than an old casual blog?

I been doing this for almost 9 months and so far it was an amazing trip.

Sure I didn’t earn any money, but the experience of sharing your vulnerabilities was amazing.

I love what I do – I sure do.

I always wanted to connect with people. I’ve tried so many times.

But in fact it’s hard to connect with people, because people are busy to make ends meet. Everyone is busy. There’s just a little fraction of people who don’t work. Most people do work.

Loving what you do can be a curse, because you’ll spend so much time pursuing fun that you’ll forget about money. Money is important, if money wasn’t important nobody would work.

Buying a pack of smokes, some beer or coke – it all costs money.

You need money to buy better and tastier food, to get better clothes, to drive a better car, even to have your own blog – you need money.

Without money you’ll invalid to the community you are living in.

When I was working I earned 2000 litas, and when I was with money I didn’t see any problems in capitalism. I started seeing problems in capitalism when I started to not get orders and not get any money. That’s when the real problem of capitalism occurred.

Having money extends your possibilities. You don’t feel disabled when you have money.

All problems start because there isn’t any money in your pocket. That’s when you see that capitalism is a harsh system. It’s your problem if you don’t have any money – nobody will help you.

And if you were fucked all your life – you sure will grow up a pessimist. And nobody likes a pessimist, but pessimists see the truth.

Nobody wants to talk about the hardness of this world. Everyone is seeking pleasure. Nobody wants to think about the world. I asked some people – do you think? They all told no. I just go to work and serve, I get my paycheck and buy what I need and then go to work again – that’s what everyone is doing, well most people.

Nobody thinks about the world because thinking is a hard task.

Personally me, I love what I do – but I doubt I will ever see money out of this occupation. Sure I earn couple of euros here and there, but that’s not enough you know. People prefer giving me donations rather than buying my products – I want to be honest with you – my products are shit. It’s better for both of us – to have a small community, a blog, where we all can connect.

Write a comment, I’ll respond to you.

You see. loving what you do might not create value for other people and believe me – creating value is fucking hard. It’s not enough to write your own diary in your own corner.

Everything revolves around money. Because money can buy you shinny things. But earning money, getting donations – it’s fucking hard, because people donate when they want, not when you need/want.

I know having a donation-based blog will be a harsh task, but whatever. If Lithuanians drop me some coin, so will Americans drop some. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel.

It’s really hard to change the world. It requires enormous amount of energy. So it’s better to adapt to the world.

Follow your passion is a horrible advice, because not all passions pay. Sure if we would be living in a free world, where everyone can do what they want and still be able to survive – I would be happy, but now. When my ends don’t meet and I fully depend on my mother and my disability paycheck – it’s hard.

I know guys it’s hard for you too. I don’t want to be a guy who always whines. But why the hell money making is so hard? I watched countless videos on money making and still I don’t make any money. I read a lot of books and still nothing changed. All I know that I have to own what I do. I don’t want to sell my time. I don’t want to work for anyone. Why can’t this blog be successful?

Sure it can, but I don’t want to make money my primary objective of this blog. I want to make this blog a hub for like-minded people.

I know there are countless people who are poor. I know there are a lot who have the money.

Personally when I have some change I give to homeless or ill people. But how much I can give if I don’t accumulate any money myself.

Business should be self sustained and bring money regularly.

If I would be you I wouldn’t listen to me for financial advice. Listen to people who already have a good life. My life, well my life is easy. I wake up write a post, walk the dog, smoke a cigarillo, drink some beer occasionally. My life is easy, but it’s hard mentally. I know most of my depression would vanish if I could accumulate money, but today I can’t.

What I earn online is a funny joke.

It’s kinda strange that spending money is so easy and earning it is so hard. I guess it depends on value and goods you are producing.

I choose writing as my occupation just because I can produce texts for free. If people would love what I write, I would earn. I guess I haven’t found my people yet.

Making money was easier back in the day, now everything went to shit. I just can’t believe I’m sick with paranoid schizophrenia. Well most of the time I don’t feel the disease, but my motivation is low. I’m kinda lazy to get out of the house.

I remember I worked with my friend, he told me that I’m a good worker, but despite working with friends. I never found a real job where I would be met with open hands and open hearts. So I never worked in my life.

I wanted to be a writer, but when I tried it I realized it’s fucking hard.

I sure could write better, but it is what it is.

To be honest, I write what I can. I could go write freelance, but man. When I saw what kind garbage freelance writers write. I then didn’t want to do it.

I want to write what I want and get some bucks.

Anyway, I hope this makes some sense.

Most people are normal people.

When lurking on the web it may seem that most people are insane, when in fact most people are simply normal.

Rich people are generous.

It sucks that in Lithuania most people can’t buy a car. The country is so poor. Can you imagine minimum wage 400€?

This is not much.

In a poor country chances of getting rich are really slim. Sure I know people who went from rags to riches but it rarely happens.

Many businessmen who work in Lithuania, work so that ends would meet. Many years they don’t have any profit.

I remember one of my friends worked in real estate, he sold houses and shit, so he told me that he makes money so that he could work another month. He sure wasn’t rich.

People here in Lithuania, lack experience in capitalism. Capitalism in Lithuania is just 30~ years. Lithuania is a young capitalistic country. It’s known that this country is corrupt.

People complain that they select dumb government. Politics change and things don’t change. Everyone is stealing. People are egoists, people here in Lithuania want everything for free.

I know, in every country there are people who want everything for free. Sure people would pay, but they don’t have any money.

It’s a poor country but still most people are as you would expect. Normal.

People are struggling hard to meet ends. Making money in Lithuania is extremely hard. Especially if you want to be a blogger. So it’s better to blog in English language. America has more opportunities than Lithuania, most good things come from America. But as far as I know Lithuanians don’t like America, because they consider Americans fat and dumb country. But that’s not true. Everywhere people do whatever they can to survive.

It’s not fair to call Americans fat and lazy country. America is the wealthiest country of them all. Well, I think so.

That said, people are normal. America sure has more opportunities, but you have to be American to use those opportunities.

I wish I was born in New York, personally me – I never was in America, so I can’t write about America and American people. People everywhere around the globe want to succeed. But success is rare.

As Brian Tracy told, people are lazy and as Grant Cardone told people don’t do anything due to conflicting information.

Personally me, I’m not a businessman, I’m just a lame blogger who earns nothing out of his blog. I’m just getting the typical results.

Personally – making money is the hardest thing ever, it used to be easier when I was younger. Then I had some business sales. Fast forward to now – nobody needs me, nobody likes my art, but I don’t want to give up, you know.

Maybe there are people who need and like and trust me – I don’t know.

So I decided to make this blog a donation-based blog. If people will love me, they will buy me a coke. I don’t ask much.

Personally I don’t believe that casual blogging is a solid business.

Every business can thrive, but it depends on who’s doing the business.

If Stephen King can make millions with his books, it doesn’t mean we can. He’s exceptional and we are not special, nor exceptional.

Have to admit that…

See ya.

My friend’s in a mental house.

Few days ago I heard bad news.

My friend instead of going to work, went to drink beer. Got drunk and went home.

Then he started to break the furniture, they called the ambulance and the cops and they drove him to mental hospital.

Few days I haven’t heard anything from him.

As far as I heard, he’s in a republican mental clinic. ‘Vileika’

She chewed the internet cord.

Today I woke up and the dog chewed brother’s web cable.

We moved the furniture, now the cables are secure.

People aren’t that stupid.

Dear diary,

It seems to be me that the world is going crazy.

Why the hell people watch fart videos?

There’s so much disgust in the world that it makes me sick.

Sometimes I think that people are kinda stupid, I met really stupid people during my life and most of them think they are smart.

That’s kinda strange.

People are interested in porn, in pedophilia, in necrophilia, in zoophilia – there’s so many scumbags in this world.

Where the hell are all normal people?

It’s kinda strange that the world is full of people and you don’t have any friends. Maybe all normal people are extroverted?

I don’t want to be arrogant but I am.

Nobody really cares about the simple man. Women are for sale. You can buy them, if not with money, then with chocolates and flowers.

I’m going to live alone. Destined to be alone.

I don’t like this world it’s better to drop my own expectations. When I was little – I expected more from the world, the world is giving so little.

Somewhere along the road I lost my joy.

Why is that?

It seems that I’m missing out on huge things.

I’m alone, lurking on the web and watching this world of disgust.

Probably, there are more sick people than normal ones.

I regret that the web is invented. All people who were without the web – did not see this disgusting world. It’s better – when you don’t see.

You just can’t pretend that you don’t care – these people aren’t my fellows. I’m alone, destined to be alone.

This is a long lonely road where I don’t matter at all.

I’m not important and not special.

Why I used to think that way?

When’s the road going to end.

I’m bored and disappointed.

Complain.

Dear diary,

Why earning money is so difficult, it looks like other people are making money much easier. I kinda make money easy but it’s not a lot. Just 221€.

Why it’s hard to find a decent job, and why we have to work at all?

Isn’t working supposed to bring more money. My disability paycheck is a joke. Isn’t working supposed to be fun?

All my life I was looking for fun and didn’t find it.

I guess it’s a blessing to make money.

Why other bloggers can make 10 000$ per month while I make nothing. I just can’t understand it. What’s the problem?

Why earning money is hard and why earning money isn’t easy as spending it? I can’t get it.

I guess other folks can make money easier and it isn’t hard for them.

Why the hell 10% of people own 90% of money. Isn’t that unfair?

What should I do. I don’t want to work in a lame job, isn’t there better jobs?

I just don’t know.

Would be longer.

Dear diary,

Today I was with my dog. She chews random garbage like cigarette butts, beer corks and small pieces of trees.

I spend a fun time with my dog, Bena.

I wanted to be longer, but she was tempting to go home.

Now I’m at home, listening to Michael Jackson.

I’ll go for a smoke. Having a dog is great, but in the morning I’m so lazy to go out with her, she wakes up me at 7 AM. Then I go out with her and then I go to sleep again.

I assume it’s better to have a house with some land. Then you just open up the door and she walks by her own. But unfortunately I don’t have a house with land. 🙁

I finally deleted all my youtube videos. I don’t want to be a youtuber. Nobody watches my videos, so I guess they are lame. Anyway deleted them and I’m okay.

Now I’m going to blog on this blog/diary.

Ok, I’m going for a smoke.

I live the dream.

Sure I need money – who doesn’t?

Everyday I lurk on my laptop, checking what’s new in the matrix.

I sure don’t want to work. Because working sucks – everybody knows that.

My blog doesn’t earn me any money and that sucks. That’s just typical blogging.

I don’t know what to write to have some atypical results.

Today I stepped onto my dog’s shit. That’s nasty.

Sure, it’s living the dream.

Anyway. I figured I’ll do donations on this blog. I want my blog to be ad free.

I have to admit, that lately I feel burnt out and exhausted from writing.

I just no longer know what to talk about. I feel that I’ve talked through everything. Sure writing is great, I don’t want to quit.

But nobody reads blogs anymore unless you’re a pro blogger.

That’s typical blogging for you.

Today I realized that women have no value. Paying for pussy is too expensive. It’s ridiculous what men have to do to get some pussy.

It’s ridiculous.

Now I write through my exhaustion. And it’s not nice.

I’m done guys, have to take a serious break. I no longer know what to talk about.

Everything’s hard.

Yeah, I wish things were easier because now everything’s hard.

Forget about being popular.

Forget about money.

Forget about girls.

Forget about everything, it’s not for you.

It seems.

It’s all about money.

Don’t believe me?

Go outside somewhere without money.

And you’ll realize that you’re an useless prick.

I love tweaking things.

I’m never satisfied, I love tweaking things.

Now you can buy me a Coke, do you like this button?

Sure all funds will go towards blog maintenance and some coke.

Just recently I was out with my dog. Just for a small walk.

Around the apartment.

She’s a really cool dog.

Viewer bought me a beer!

Yesterday I was livestreaming on youtube.

And to my surprize one of my fans bought me a beer – what a nice dude.

Now I want to live stream.

I streamed almost for two hours, the stream is worth a beer.

I just don’t get it…

How do these moguls earn online. For me it seems impossible.

These moguls are earning 10 000 $ per month.

I would be happy if I would earn 1/10 of it.

Kinda sucks you can’t earn online when you’re an amateur.

I know I should put some ads on my website, even though ads are the worst way to earn money online.

Today I got my food.

Today I left the dog alone and went to get my free food.

They gave not much.

PS. I’m not in the mood to write more because I’m burnt out. I’ll take a break for couple of days.

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