Vygintas Varnas

Matrix Hacks

Month: April 2019 (page 1 of 2)

Is it a failure?

I consider every post a failure, but in fact these little failures are bits of bigger failure.

I never imagined myself being successful.

Somethings take a lifetime work.

Bit by bit and you’ll create something. Good or bad. Successful or miserable.

The hardest thing is to show up despite the fact that very few people care. Blogging is a lifetime work, you can’t build it in a day.

Look at companies and people you love, how much time did they spend creating their ’empire’? I bet you look at successful people, because seeing miserable people is nearly impossible.

You see successful people out there but you see misery around yourself. This means somethings got to change – sooner or later.

By the way – we all can’t sit online and create online experiences. Who’ll build houses and roads? Writing isn’t work.

Tried to quit smoking…

but unfortunately unsuccessfully.

Sitting without cigarettes, waiting for mom to get back from work. She’ll buy me a pack of cigarillos.

Yesterday we were drinking & got some food.

Yesterday my best friend was over, he bought 5 beer packs, that’s 10 liters of beer, I drinked just 1,5 liters.

Yesterday I received an sms, that I get food from my eldership.

Today I went. Got flour, sunflower oil, buckwheat, some cookies, canned peas and something else.

The donation was humble, I was hopping for more, but the value of the donation is like 10€. That’s humble, man.

Funny thing happened.

I deleted my Youtube account, just have two audiobooks uploaded.

But my traffic didn’t drop because I got those 10 views from Youtube.

Now I even don’t have a link in my Youtube.

The traffic didn’t drop and it’s kinda funny how traffic comes.

I know that some people read my blog. My traffic kinda increased from 10 to 20. And it’s funny.

To advertise or not to advertise.

I was experimenting with advertising on my old blog.

I didn’t have a landing page, I just paid adf.ly to get me views to a specific page, out of 31000 hits I received 0 sign ups, I had a feedburner signup on the sidebar.

To get sign ups you have to have a decent landing page. Your website should convert well.

I’m a firm believer that if you don’t sell anything you should not advertise because you will be wasting money.

31000 hits costs 31$ on adf.ly.

31$ costs half a year of hosting.

My hosting plan costs me 60€ per year. It’s a decent sum.

Of course I’m not the blogging expert, but many experts say to advertise on facebook. Sure you could if your blog was doing great already. I’ve seen Neil Patel advertise on Facebook. I saw Jeff Goins advertise on Facebook.

In general. I would start advertising when my blog would make me some money. I would reinvest it. But when my blog isn’t making any money. I sure don’t want to spend that gorgeous money.

Facebook and Google ads are expensive.

You kinda need traffic, and you need traffic to earn money. So it’s a damn circle. Building your blog organically will take a lot of time.

As John Chow said many bloggers fail because many bloggers are just bloggers, not marketers – this includes me.

Anyway. Instead of buying ads for my blog. I will buy another year of hosting. I have time. I’ll let my blog grow organically.

Since I’m not selling anything, yet. I don’t need to rush things. But after I’ll get some views – I will sell banner space on my blog.

It’s the plan. I wonder how many hits Yann is getting.

Webuku says, he’s getting 82 hits. Maybe it’s accurate, maybe not.

Webuku also says that my blog’s worth is 600$, and worth of the web says my blog is worth 1200$. So I’m rich, but these statistics are far away from true.

My blog is worth -60€. Because it costs me to run it.

Maybe there will be a day in lifetime when my blog will get 100 daily money. But I doubt it.

Casual blogging will never make you profit. Period.

I know that if you want to make money with blogs, you gotta go pro.

Casual will never lead to any profit. Because people don’t read casual blogs no longer, now everybody’s chilling on Facebook.

The fact is – nobody out there wants to connect with you.

Tell me times when you landed on a casual blog? I bet, lately none of times. Casual blogging is dead. Blogging for profit is dead, unless you started your blog 10 to 20 years back.

Chances of new blog being successful are very slim.

Because there are millions if not billions of blogs. Now people have more options to choose from than ever. Nobody’s going to read your blog, well maybe some folks, but forget about making money from blogging.

I got 500 posts in this blog and I get only 10 visitors a day. That’s like 0.02 visits per post. And that’s lame. You spend all of your time creating posts and you barely get any views. Sure you can buy views, but when you’re not selling anything it’s not worth buying views.

I’ve done advertising on my Lithuanian blog. I bought advertising from adf.ly and the visits were only 5 seconds, it’s not worth it. You can get 1000 hits just for one 1 dollar. The traffic is cheap. If you want american traffic it will cost you 5 bucks.

Blogging won’t make you famous, blogging won’t make you rich, blogging won’t land you any opportunities, because I’ve tried – nothing magical happened.

When writing a blog you need to be reasonable. If you get 100 hits in your 3 months that’s great. But if you’re like me and get 10 hits a day, that’s great too. But it won’t land you any profit.

To make profit from your blog – you need a lot of traffic, and I mean – A LOT.

Probably nobody’s going to buy your ads if you’re getting just 3100 hits per month.

This is what you get when you don’t do any advertising.

blogging stats

These are shameful stats to be honest.

I was hoping for more, but you get what you deserve most of the time.

Like Tai Lopez said, you gotta deserve a good life. We all deserve, but it is how it is.

Almost 6 months of blogging and only 1379 sessions. So that’s 229.833333333 sessions per month. Not to shabby I would say.

But you can see, that people are discovering my blog. Maybe it needs more time. Typically, a professional blog gets all the traffic withing 6 months. But those blogs are done by pros. While I’m just an amateur.

I could get more hits if I did marketing, but since I’m selling nothing I don’t want to poor my money into advertising. Instead I would eat a pizza, or kebab, or a burger.

Many people who get into blogging believe that blogging is an easy way to get money, but most blogs quit just under 3 months. I have passed this mark, the next mark is 6 months, then 12 months, then 24, 36, 48 months.

If in 4 years your blog doesn’t yield you any money, you won’t be making any money from your blog. Period.

Blogging is a tough business. Because the competition is stiff.

If I had this kind of mind like I have now. I would have started my blog earlier, but you know – I was targeting specific niche and then I burned up. I never imagined that I could go nicheless. I hesitated to start a blog for many years, because I doubted my success.

At first I wasn’t confident to write in English, I thought that my English sucks, but after awhile I started writing in English even when English isn’t my prime language.

Forget about cash from casual blogging.

Each post presents you with the opportunity to get new readers, so don’t hesitate to write.

You know. When you have this blogging thing going on. You probably focus on one post a day. But in fact the more posts you write, the more reach you’ll get after some time because every post is there in Google for readers to find.

At first I wanted to follow Seth Godin’s approach where you write only one post a day. But then I realized I could write even more than one post a day. But on some days I would take a break, because writing daily is draining. Or I could schedule posts, but that’s lame.

Anyway Seth, I will compete with you for readers. Readers will read my blog too and I’ll be the best blogger on the planet, because I have so much under my sleeve. Stories, jokes, maybe reviews.

I know that life is unfair, not everybody can be Seth Godin. But I’m not Seth, I’m Vygintas.

The more posts you have the better for your blog. The story goes that the more you write, the bigger reach you’ll have.

But you have to be patient with blogging, especially if you don’t do any marketing. Yann wrote like 6 years before I found him. His blog is great, don’t hesitate to take a look.

Once a day is lame. I have so much time under my sleeve I could craft 10 posts a day. But that’s a burn down

The more posts your blog has the greater chance it will be discovered. Don’t hesitate to write as much as you want if you’re a blogger. Because at the early years of your blog, people won’t find your blog unless you have thousands of posts.

As I believe, every single post is a hook for the reader. I know many people won’t read through everything I wrote, but I don’t care. I’m happy if you’ll read just some of my writings.

Anyway I haven’t got anything else to do with my life just write and hope for the best. Maybe people will love what I write, maybe someday people will speak about me in their blogs – who knows.

We need to connect.

Write, Publish, Repeat – No luck guide to success.

It’s good to be occupied.

I couldn’t imagine what I would do if blogging wasn’t discovered yet.

All my plans went to waste, now I got this good old blogging thing.

Need to come up with new plans, new strategies, new visions.

I see the world as ever evolving place. This world doesn’t need me to survive but I need this world to survive.

Anyway. Youtube – failed. Working for somebody – failed, never got employed in 30 years, well once or twice. But I don’t have the patience to work. I want to command, want to shape the world.

But forget shaping the world when you don’t have any money.

I know I would be great at commanding position. Since I’m this ENTJ, the commander personality type.

I know that ENTJs get frustrated when they don’t have anyone to command to.

I remember I wrote an email to this chick, who was a saleswoman. I wrote to her so that she would sell my seminars. But dammit, it didn’t work. I need a person who would manage all my sales. A marketer, man I need a team. Because I’m good at creating products. My products are nice, they just need a better packaging.

I don’t want to give up on my failures, because in fact I learned a lot.

Need new plans, because until this blog blows up, will pass a lot of time. Anyway. I love writing and I think I should focus on writing and blogging, because in the end I want to be a blogger. Well I am now, but I want to be making money from this crap.

Maybe I should be more interesting, well being interesting is a challenge, because I have no fucking clue what the majority of people want. Sure I won’t start writing news and how to articles, how to masturbate articles, because it’s easy.

I need some people on my team, but my people are lame, they don’t envision my vision. They are lazy and don’t want to work.

I guess I will have to work alone. Many people don’t get the hang on what I’m doing here. Isn’t blogging a real occupation?

Sure it’s a real one, when you’re doing sales – me? I’m doing shit here. But I know my blog is one of the greater blogs, because deep down I’m a great guy. You just don’t know me and don’t believe in me, but with the right circumstances I could blast your socks off.

I kinda need to learn to save money, but man when my income is just 221€ there’s nothing to save. I need to increase my income, when I got 100 Litas daily I only could spend 30 Litas. Now when we have Euros, so I need 100 Euros

Anyway, without blogging I wouldn’t have any occupation. Being occupied is a must. I love producing content for you guys. But I really need people who know how to sell. I kinda know how to sell, but I kinda don’t know how to create a decent product for the market. It’s a two way game. I know these Lithuanian fucks won’t read or buy my books.

So I’m in this game, where I write for many years until I get traffic and then I’m planning on writing a book. Maybe yall, Americans, will buy?

As an ENTJ I work with my voice and text. I’m pissed about many bloggers who made blogging professional, I loved the casual thing about blogging. That’s why I want a casual blog. I want to know you all guys. When I’ll get more viewers on my blog I will turn on the comments. In fact, since I’m not selling anything I can turn them on now. Just have to download akismet.

Ok. Comments will be on, maybe yall, won’t write shit to me.

Let’s be friends, okay?

When you have ambitions, and sense of direction. No doubt, y’all be occupied. Occupation is great, because people who are occupied don’t have time to wander, but me – I love having a lot of time, don’t want to sell my time. I would love to buy time.

Being occupied is great, don’t know about blogging, but I have this sense that I’m building something. Maybe it’s useless I don’t know. Maybe not. Only you know.

Life’s pretty harsh, isn’t it?

Everybody has to work, everybody has to do something just not to die.

Life forces us to move. You just have to do your best in order to survive.

Life fucks us all.

Personally my life is easy physically but hard emotionally and psychically. Imagine sitting all days indoors, like some sort of inmate.

I’m sick with being sick with schizophrenia.

Back in the day I had a decent life, had a job where I got 2000 Litas, the disability paycheck I’ve got was another 500 Litas. So with 2500 Litas I could live decently. But my working time didn’t last long, just 3 months. Then I’ve got sick with schizophrenia.

Also I have heart disability from birth. I’m kinda a disabled man. But that doesn’t prohibit me from wanting more from life.

Being disabled has it’s challenges. Most of all I want my father to be alive, he got killed when I was 6. He went to Poland to do business and didn’t return. Some bad people killed him.

I also would love to be healthy. Now I can’t drive a car because I use antipsychotic drugs which slow down my reaction time. I’m always on drugs.

I regret my father being dead. If he was alive my life would be different, my brother’s life would be different.

My father wanted to earn a million, I bet if he was alive he had that million, but money killed him. Well not money, but bad people. Who wanted money. I remember I told him don’t go. As if I knew he won’t return. But that’s just life.

When you see people die on TV, you never imagine this kinda shit can happen to you. The TV shows real events. It’s not acting like some people tell. Real life shit happens to real life people.

My father was a well guy. He loved me so much, but I kinda don’t remember much of those times. It’s been almost 25 years since he’s gone. My grandfather died (mom’s dad) 9 years ago somewhat. My grandmother died (dad’s mom) also many years ago.

You just keep losing people when you’re at young age. Life fucks us hard, life fucked me hard.

And you know what, people who die fade away slowly. Time heals and how my guitar teacher told: “people die and then it becomes as if they never were”. Thoughts about dead one’s sometimes occur, but rarely.

It’s just life. I can’t imagine how will I live when my mom dies because my mom supports the family with money, she’s the only one working.

My brother does some kinda shit, he doesn’t go to work. He’s lazy. He wants a disability paycheck, so he didn’t have to go to work. He’s always: “maybe I’m disabled, got to go to the doctor”. He avoids the army, he avoids most things in life. He plays Path of Exile on his computer and Counter Strike 1.6. He’s not the working type.

I personally want a job, but nobody hires me. I’m not good enough. I keep sending emails to employers, but they don’t respond. I keep sending, maybe I’ll get a job with a computer. Clicking buttons in predefined order is easy. I could do that.

Despite that I’m sick with schizophrenia I have analytical and critical thinking which isn’t bad. When bad days of schizophrenia happen my mind just twists. I know I could do a disability on schizophrenia but I don’t bother. Now I have a disability till 2053, then I’ll get a bums pension which is 200€ now. Maybe later in life they’ll increase the pension. Because I have no work experience. To get a pension you need to work 40-45 years and they keep increasing those years.

My life isn’t bad, I kinda enjoy my life, but all I want is a stable income. Having something to do aka a job, getting cash would be great.

I’m kinda good at PPC advertising, Facebook ads, Google ads. I know this shit, but there are no jobs and if there are people don’t hire me.

I’m kinda desperate for cash. I wanted to be a millionaire but grew up to realize I’m not going to be one due to fact that I’m kinda lazy and disabled. If I was healthy, my mind was healthy I kinda would do my best. But I always wanted more. I kinda want to be a teacher, but I don’t know what to teach. I’m good at philosophy. I kinda got things figured out.

Life fucks us all, doesn’t it.

I’m fed up being poor, but I have this victim mentality. I don’t know why. My parents spoiled me. Back in the day I did some minor business but now everything went to crap. Back in the day life was easier, maybe because I was young and healthyish.

Life’s damn short.

I didn’t notice how old I’ve got. This year I’m 31. An old fart.

The older you get – the time flies faster.

Now I don’t notice how five days of the week go by.

My life’s pretty monotonic. I wake up, take a big dump, eat something and sit all day at my laptop. I’m living in the Matrix.

When you have no money, you will be lurking in the Matrix. Because life without money is pretty dull and straightforward.

If a typical man lives 76 years in America, so I’ve got 45 years left. I just don’t know what to do with my life. I just blog and hope for the best. I know this blog won’t make me money, so anyway. 45 years is more than half of my life.

If I would spend 45 years writing something good might happen, but I doubt it – nothing good ever happens to me.

But I have to try, this is the least I can do.

It would be great to earn from my writing, but since English is not my primary language – it won’t happen unless I’ll get a lot of practice.

Each blog post is practice.

My friend should come over tomorrow, we’ll drink beer probably. Personally me. I sit without money. Maybe he’ll have some beer cash.

All I want in life is a stable income. I don’t need anything else.

I know that being a popular writer takes a lot of talent. Now I’m just a starving artist, starving blogger.

I don’t force any subscriptions. People who’ll want will subscribe, those who won’t – fuck them.

I just want to have a great time. Writing is my passion, but I don’t dream about fame. I’m just writing like nobody’s reading.

It’s the best method, to write like nobody’s reading.

I just want to open up. Because I’m an open person, my job is to be creative.

Life’s damn short.

My grandmother came over.

She brought some salad, baked chicken and some eggs. Some 3 in 1 coffee and some normal coffee – we had a fun time.

She told names people used to call each other in the country.

She’s like 76 years old and man, that’s old.

She barely has energy. Walking up to 4 floor is hard for her. She lives like 15 minutes away.

She was over for like one hour.

I’m glad she’s still alive.

She has great memoirs of her life. She lived during CCCP. She told that Soviet Union was crap. She didn’t have any shoes back then and in winter kids had to step into cow’s shit to make those legs warm.

Later they only got wooden shoes which were uncomfortable and those shoes made legs hurt.

I kinda feel sincere towards old people, they survived most of their life on this planet. Gotta respect that.

But she doesn’t use the web, she talks in Russian, she doesn’t drink, maybe sometimes a bit.

She’s a nice old lady.

Happy Easter

Want to greet all my followers with Easter.

Please, have a great time with your family and friends.

I wish you that your life was great.

Effort is not equal to results.

You can spend a lot of effort in creating something which is absolutely not useful to other people.

You can spend time creating something and not get any results.

What do you do then? Yeah, you stop creating, because creating and not getting results is draining and exhausting.

I’ve spent 5 to 6 years creating Youtube videos, what did I get? Nothing, zilch. Well I’ve earned some money but I spent far more.

Besides the earnings weren’t regular. So it wasn’t a great way to make money.

When you want to make money you have to get stable sales. it’s very hard to get stable sales when you’re a youtuber, because it’s hard to reach the audience.

And my audience was kinda poor. They didn’t have the money to support me. Or maybe they were greedy. I don’t know.

But I did a lot of effort on my youtube videos and didn’t get much rewards. My videos ranged from 40 views to 100 views. That’s not a lot of views. Everything is SEO, if you don’t target your videos to people, they won’t come. The audience retention on my videos was just 16-40%. It’s a bad audience retention. If my audience retention was greater – youtube would provide me the views. But it is how it is.

I’m done with video. Had 1500 videos, maybe even 2100. Deleted them all. Because I wasn’t getting what I was anticipating.

People kinda didn’t love me. Many of my videos we’re age restricted due to reports.

I know I have enemies. But fuck my enemies. I don’t care.

Doing Youtube videos was fun at first, but then it became draining and exhausting. I know I shouldn’t have deleted them, but what happened is just. I got a lot of messages from Youtube accusing me of spamming. That my videos aren’t wanted. So I just quit.

Now I will concentrate purely on my blog. I will try to outcompete John Chow 😀

Thanks for watching my videos, and for reading my blog. It’s a great honor.

Bukowski wrote 20 years until he got famous.

Being a writer is easy – you just write, but being a recognized author is another story.

Bukowski wrote 20 years until he got recognized. His net worth was 4 million US dollars. He’s kinda a great writer. I’ve read his book ‘pulp’.

It was a good detective. As far as I remember.

You need to write a lot until you get famous, but when you do – you’ll get the chicks and the fame, and the riches. But until you’re famous – you’ll be a starving artist.

Being any creator takes a lot of time until you get recognized.

I started this blog not to get famous, but to connect with people from around the world. At first I wanted to be a paid blogger but as far as I’m aware it ain’t happening.

The reality is that there’s millions of blogs and you have to be grateful when you get just 10 visits. Ten people chose your blog – that’s great.

Anyway. I know that it will take a long time to write my masterpiece blog. But anyway. I ain’t doing anything better – yet.

Bukowski told that if he won’t get famous after 20 years, he’ll give 20 more years to get famous.

I just want to note. If you’re a writer, don’t expect to be a famous writer. Write like nobody’s reading.

Some people will choose to read, but most won’t.

I’m kinda depressed due to fact that I don’t earn money from my writing. It kinda makes me sad. I know not all texts are worth millions. Some are worth just few cents – but whatever.

I just wanted to make a good blog. Not those how to articles, but something more deep. Because I want to establish a deep connection with my readers.

All I want to do is connect with people. Because I feel lonely.

I always wanted more people to be my friends, but people are kinda crazy. We’re all crazy to a certain degree.

I’ll give myself 40 years to become famous. I already spent 6 to 7 years writing. No fame still. I should have started writing in English in first place. I spent 2 years writing in Lithuanian. Lithuania is a small country. I noticed that Lithuanians don’t like what I’m offering.

Maybe people who speak in English, will be more grateful for my work.

Nobody waits for my new post, well maybe 2 people who have subscribed to my mailing list. Other folks don’t give a shit.

As I learned about blogs. I wanted one. And I’m kinda living my dream but I don’t earn any money. Maybe someday this blog will grow. I have no clue.

If i’ll get views, I’ll will sell banner ads on my blog.

Blogging is a fun way to connect with people, share your story, and maybe make money. I just don’t know when it’s going to blow up with traffic – maybe never.

Some folks tell that it takes 4 years until Google gives you traffic. Not all blogs are created equal. It can take a lot of years until the blog will blow up.

My blog is nothing special, just a diary and thoughts.

Maybe some people will want to connect, maybe not. Who knows.

I don’t have those pop ups. I don’t force my subscription to anybody. People who’ll want to connect will subscribe.

Over 5 to 6 years of youtube, I’ve have connected with maybe 50 people. With blog it will take even more time. Because my blog gets far less views than my Youtube did.

I’m done doing Youtube videos, because they don’t work. I was thinking people will greet me with open hands, but it appeared wrong.

Anyway, webcam videos don’t work on Youtube. People just got bored with the same webcam face. At first I got views, but then my views dropped. People started not caring. Anyway doing Youtube was fun, at first, but then I became desperate for views. Anyway. Thanks for watching who did watch. I’m done with youtube.

I just wonder how much time until my blog will get 100 daily views. 100 daily views is great. Imagine 100 people read your blog daily. It’s fantastic.

But I don’t care enough. Because writing for one person is the same effort as writing for one million people.

I love working with editions.

I love blogging so much, don’t know how would I live without it. I guess life would be boring.

Blogging is great. Bukowski was somewhat a blogger. He wrote few poems everyday for 20 years, but he had a publisher. Now I’m just self-publishing.

Anyway we will see what happens out of this blog. It’s too early to judge. Maybe my blog will take more time than an average blog. I said, I will give it 40 years. When my blog will be populated with content people will come.

You have to build it and they will come, maybe. They are coming now. Just in small quantities.

Maybe the quantity of visitors will increase after 4 years, maybe not. I don’t know I just have to try. I sure could buy some ads, but I’m not selling anything. So it’s not worth to buy ads.

I’m not doing any seo, I don’t do any marketing. I’m doing everything wrong, but that’s just me.

I’m unique, but not useful.

Give it another try.

What I learned from 5 years of youtube is that if you’re doing the same thing and expect different results it won’t happen.

It’s insanity to do the same thing over and over and expect different results.

Instead, try something else. If you’ve never started a porn website – try to start it. If you’ve never done something – try it. Because we need to try other things, not give another try in the same thing.

I hope my porn website will go great. I’ve never tried to launch a porn website. Next month I’m going to launch.

When you haven’t tried anything new and you’re stuck with old things – new results won’t happen. It’s just mere fact.

Failure is essential.

I know that success requires failure but man – how many times I need to fail?

Got my mind back to porn website. I haven’t tried a porn website. Probably on the next month I’m gonna start a porn website but if it fails – I just don’t know what to do.

I’m out of ideas.

I guess you just have to try and try in order to succeed.

In the end I need only 10€ daily.

If i’ll get 10€ daily it’s 300€ per month. It’s almost the minimum wage here in Lithuania. Minimum wage here in Lithuania is 400€ plus minus.

Good thing about porn website is that I can redo the niches as many times as I want.

To start a porn website I need somewhat 200€.

But I’m out of ideas, if the porn website will fail.

I know that most of web is porn. So maybe another porn website won’t hurt the market.

I’m going to go into porn video compilations niche. I’ll just try – maybe it will work, maybe it won’t but how hard is to earn 10€? 🙂

I don’t want to earn 100€ a day, well I want but that’s not my target, my target is 10€ 🙂

Yesterday I drank.

Yesterday I was rethinking my life and my friend called, he came over and brought beer 7.5% of alcohol, two liters and a pepsi. I drank one liter.

Then I wrote to another friend, we meet and I drank almost 2 liters of beer, the voltage was average.

I know I have to rethink a lot in life, but I’m done thinking. Nothing good happens when you think. You just get all confused.

Can you imagine, I didn’t vomit after 3 liters of beer. It’s unusual. Usually I vomit all the time. But probably god had mercy on me.

Imagine praying all life to god and realizing after death that there was no god. I really doubt there’s god.

I’m kinda bored with living. Every day is the same. You wake up, drink some beer sometimes and then go to sleep.

Eat shit sleep repeat.

It’s kinda bad when you can’t satisfy your wants and wishes.

I doubt I will ever be wealthy. 🙂

Anyway I know how to do a lot of stuff and making money isn’t one of them. I could go to work, but nobody gives me work. I kinda don’t have acquainted people.

Now everything is in the relationships between people. Other people give you money, other people give you opportunities. You can’t do anything alone. You even can’t print money legally.

That said, rich people want other to be poor. Because if everyone would create the rules – what kind of rules there would be?

PS. Just had an argument with my mother. I bought a big pack of coffee beans and she bought the apparatus which grinds the coffee beans. She woke up and grinded just a bit of coffee beans and I told her that she should grind a full box of coffee beans. But no she’s so fucking lazy and can’t grind full box of coffee. She just grinds for herself. Why can’t she do everything in one go? Now you drink few cups of coffee and then get the grinder again and grind just a bit again – it’s so stupid. Sometimes I think my mother doesn’t think.

Anyway. If people would be rich, who would be the true ruler of the world? Everybody would love to rule the world and sit on a bag of gold. But it is how it is. People exploit each other and steal resources from each other.

A computer costs 500€ when my paycheck is only 221€. I need to hold on to my paycheck for couple of months to buy a decent computer. Because these computers for 200€ are crap.

PPS. I believe I got this lazy gene from my mother. Because my mother is so lazy. And I’m her son I’m lazy too, my brother is lazy too. But most people are lazy. That’s nothing. Good to be lazy – you just save up your energy for something greater.

The day started nice.

Yesterday my brother was drinking. I’ve locked my rooms door and he was trying to get in. Anyway I was sleeping, didn’t bother to open the door.

I don’t like him when he’s drunk.

Today I woke up, having this great feeling that life is going to give me something in the end, but I started doubting. Why can’t life give you what you need from the start?

Anyway the day started fine. My friend should come over, then another friend was talking that he might come over.

I don’t know where my life is going. Youtube started feeling like an addiction. I just had to post a video. I think I was sick with video posting. Now I’m glad I’m okay.

Yesterday I was at my grandfather’s house. We put up the curtains, actually he was doing all the work. I just had to lift up the vacuum cleaner and hold those curtains up.

We drank tea, we ate a cake, we ate some sandwiches.

I walked through all the city by foot. My legs we’re hurting. But I’m glad I did the walk. I needed a walk because yesterday was a bad day with a bad mood. I was insane. I had so much anger, disappointment, despair. I even talked with a psychologist over the phone but unfortunately the psychologist didn’t tell me much. She just told me to try, to not give up and to take a break from everything.

I’m just done trying. I’m fed of trying to be someone who I’m not. I’m done trying to please people. Can you imagine 1500 videos, got just few views. I realized that people don’t care and don’t like me. I cried about it. Yesterday really was a bad day emotionally, not physically. Day after yesterday was bad physically.

I hate being sick with paranoid schizophrenia. I’m done with all these matrices. I’m done proving things to people, if they don’t want to listen – why then I should spend my time creating. Why talk when only view people care?

In general I have a lot of questions about life and answering them is really hard. Many of my questions question my sanity. Am I sane or am I insane?

After my first psychosis I told my brother that I won’t be the same again, because during my psychosis I had an instant personality change which changed me to worse or better – I don’t know.

I started to see, that I don’t know a lot of things and noticed that we’re all surrounded by idiots. People who are ignorant and don’t care. The only thing they care is their job, relationships and sports.

People are in fact ignorant and don’t care about others. We are for ourselves, there is no support from folks. Just some likes and some shares.

My dick’s photo leaked to hands of basterds.

Over the course of 5 to 6 years of doing Youtube I noticed that people love farts and dicks and nothing serious. That’s why they call them dickheads. People who’s minds are full of dicks.

I noticed that people don’t like each other, there’s a lot of hate going on.

i know there are people who feel like aliens on this planet, because all the folks outdoors are insane. There’s so much insanity going on in the world that it can drive any sane man to insanity.

People are disgusting creatures because they poison each other instead of supporting each other.

I’ve done with hope that people care – nobody does. A person only cares about his own life, if he does care at all.

Nobody sees the big picture, a picture which is disgusting. That’s why I say we live in our own little matrix, everybody has a matrix. It’s his own personal matrix by which things are going. You just can’t break or hack the matrix, because the matrix hacks and breaks you – all the time.

When you start thinking about the cosmos, you’ll go insane. Because thoughts will go wild on you. After spending lots of time while doing nothing. I realized that people need jobs otherwise they will bombard their heads with all these nonsense questions about the cosmos and the purpose of reality and etc.

For all the aliens I’ll say that you are not alone, because deep down my throat I feel alienated. There is something wrong with the world I just can’t grasp it. The world itself is strange, probably because I was expecting it to be a nice place, while in fact it’s a shithole. There are sick fucks all over the streets. All these alcoholics, junkies, necrophiles, pedophiles and gay men, lesbians. The world is full of disgust. Things that contradict my values. But should I doubt my values? Maybe something is wrong with my values. If people value disgust, they will be living in a disgusting world. Period.

Fuck off!

Deleted my Youtube, cleared out my friends. Fuck off – leave me alone. I’m done with you guys.

If you want to hear from me check my blog. Someday.

I’m done giving free content, I won’t write any books.

I won’t do any videos. I’m done.

I never imagined that online business is so hard.

Business is hard. I tried doing Youtube but nothing worked.

Then I tried to sell t-shirts, eBooks, affiliate marketing and everything. Nothing worked, now this blogging stuff – it doesn’t work.

I think I’m done trying.

I feel exhausted. From creating free products and trying to make some cash.

Probably it’s about time to get a real job. Because this online crap isn’t working for me. I’ve spent more than I’ve earned. Working totally into minus.

WACOM Intuos S doesn’t work on Chrome OS.

Today I got my Wacom Intuos S and was surprised that it doesn’t work on Acer Chromebook 14.

I imagined I just would plug and play but it didn’t work.

Don’t buy WACOM Intuos S for your chromebook because it doesn’t work.

It takes talent.

Hard work is never enough. If you work hard on a hard thing – you’ll most likely fail.

Because let’s admit it, the best creative authors are both: talented and hard working.

You can’t do anything without talent.

Anyone can draw but not everyone can make tattoos, something permanent. Anyone can write, but not all books are worth millions.

One thing is to be talented, the other thing is to be hard working.

Hard work never beats talent. Talent means that hard thing for others is easy for you.

Doesn’t matter how much I’ll play the guitar, still I can’t play a barre chord and it pisses me off.

Talented people are the one’s who earn from creative work. As Yann Girard said 99% creatives earn shit.

There were only few times I earned decently from my creative work, the other times I worked for free. Sometimes I worked into minus.

I spend more money creating art than I’ve earned.

As a matter of fact, I’m not talented, nor hard working. I should be, but I believe it’s not worth it. Some people resonate with folks, while others have to write a vagon of words until they get famous.

If you’re a writer and you’re not famous – most likely you won’t earn any cash. With fame any position you take on can be profitable, but without fame anything you’ll do you’ll be doing for free, or minus.

Poor again.

I received my disability paycheck on 12th of the month. Spent every single cent.

Again I’m a bum.

I just don’t know why but I can’t hold on such money. I need to increase my income but just don’t know how.

I know I won’t be rich because I really can’t delay my gratification. I want everything now, not later.

Now going to suck my finger for the rest of the month.

Fuck Facebook.

I have to admit, that facebook is an idiot website.

I wrote a poem including pussy and got suspended.

Deactivated my facebook account, probably won’t go back to Facebook.

They are so childish with their suspensions and blocks.

Never seen such an idiotic website. They want to block free speech. They want to make me nice but I’m not nice.

Fuck you Facebook, Fuck you Mark Zuckerberg.

Yesterday we had a party.

I was so drunk last night. I haven’t drank this much since I can’t remember.

We made a reunion with my friend Saulius. Haven’t seen him for a year, maybe more.

The mood today is okayish, my brother is drunk.

If not drinking, my brother would be a well guy. When he’s drunk, he’s doing nonsense. Well, don’t we all.

But drinking will kill him.

Set yourself a goal.

Goals are great because they give a sense of direction.

You sure don’t want to be a guy, who wanders from place to place.

Goals give direction to your life.

I know a lot of people who wander without a goal and guess what, they will end up in the same place as they are today.

When you have no goal, you don’t make any progress.

Even 1% upgrade in your direction will make huge arc of achievement.

But bad thing with goals is that you have to stick to them.

If you can imagine your life, do you know how it will end? What position you are going to be? I know I will have a blog filled with various writings. Even if I fail. I have a blog to show my works.

Get yourself a goal. Doesn’t matter how big or small. It’s great to have one because then you will feel a sense of direction.

Everybody should do what they like.

I hate how the job becomes a chore.

Why can’t we all get along and do what we are passionate about?

Sure there will be jobs, but it can be not you who’s doing them.

We all move along towards creating a better world, but our pace is very slow. Did you notice that things barely change. We get one’s politicians nothing changes, we get another politicians and nothing changes.

During my life nothing changed, just the currency first we had Litas, now we have Euros. That’s all.

Aš Jacque Fresco told, politicians don’t solve problems they create laws. We in fact, need more problems solves.

Because our world is full of problems.

If we all did what we wanted, then we had more energy.

I see many people playing games, but what gamers are good at? This is a great resource. But we don’t know what gamers are good at, they sure could solve some problems.

If many people want to play – we need to design life as a game.

Do you want to make yourself ripped, or your character? Of course yourself.

The thing is, well all have dreams. Well in fact, not all of us. I see many people without ambitions. People aren’t believing in life.

We must have people who believe in life, otherwise we will fail as a society.

We need to change things for the better, but I can’t imagine how – I’ll let you smart guys to handle this problem.

If people did what they want and got cash – we would get so much energy. Because you can do and do and do what you love.

But when you’re ambitionless, you ain’t going to do shit.

Now the main problem persists – how to get cash. But can you imagine a world without cash? I bet hardly, but Jacque Fresco foretold that someday money will vanish. Maybe it’s true maybe it’s not.

I found what I love to do. And I have so much energy to do it. I’ll probably will do it as long as I’m alive. Not sure, but I like what I’m doing. I just don’t see success coming.

If people would do what they love – we would have so much energy.

Energy to produce. But as I told, many people are ambitionless.

It’s the lack of ambition that holds them down.

If I would like what I’m doing I would do it every single day.

I found. Did you?

I just can’t understand…

… how these American fellow bloggers make their money.

It seems, everything I have to offer is simply not worth your cash.

Selling t-shirts, ant taking donate is a joke.

Sometimes I think American’s buy everything.

Who needs a fucking course how to earn money online*

*- when results aren’t typical.

Sure I could buy a course on blogging, but there are so many of them for free.

Everyone will tell you – that you have to market your blog.

But I just want to tell you guys, there are millions if not billions of blogs and getting 10 views is simply great, because 10 people choose your blog.

In fact I wanted to tell that I’m pretty desperate.

I was hoping for more, but I get so little for my efforts.

Sometimes I think god isn’t on your side.

When you have dreams and those dreams don’t come true. I’m fed up with law of attraction and other laws. Like Bob Proctor says. It’s the vibrations and paradigms. Fuck it.

I wish I got more, but who cares? Nobody wants me to be successful.

I’m not special, not viral, not talented. Well maybe talented, but my skills are low. When I was a kid I didn’t expect life would be such a damn thing. Why the hell we have to sell everything?

Wouldn’t it be greater if we shared everything, resources, money, work, what else?

Why the hell stephen king earns a lot of money for his writing and me – I earn nothing. It’s unfair.

Life is fucking unfair.

I want to start a family, but I can’t. Because no woman, no cash and I’m sick. What will I’ll do when my old family dies?

I sure don’t want to sit in this place alone.

Everyone told me that I’m perspective, but nobody notices me and it’s kinda sad. I sure don’t want to bruteforce success, because you can’t force nothing on people.

I just want to write and make a living. Never imagined how hard it is until I’ve tried. As if nobody reads. People read. I see the stats.

But I just want to give and give and give, but nobody’s giving back. I don’t believe no longer in those fairytales.

I keep trying from desperation, when will the breakthrough happen?

I would love to crack jokes on stage, make some rants. I know I could be better. I don’t want a traditional job. I know I’m great, maybe with low skills, but great.

I write, do youtube videos, sing, play guitar poorly and draw poorly.

But this world doesn’t need people like me, because only few people can appreciate. But I keep trying and trying and maybe the breakthrough will happen. If not, then guys why I am doing it all? My life would go to waste, if nobody appreciates my jokes.

I want more fun in this life. Because wherever I look. I see sadness and unfairness. We should make this life a better place.

People tell you can’t change the world, but as long as I’m alive I will try. Because life could be better.

Live can give so much. Riches, fame, ladies, at least a family, but something’s wrong with life. People don’t like me, people don’t like what I do. But what should a desperate man do?

I sure don’t want to kill myself. I try to open myself, maybe with curse words, but I’m here vulnerable. Transparent, for you to see. I’m sure a passive guy, but I want more from life. I envy the rich and the famous.

I will be pushing blog posts and doing youtube videos but if nothing great happens, then man fuck pursuing passions.

Hard work sucks. Quantity is also hard work. You can’t imagine how much energy I expose while doing these videos. Sorry guys no edits, because I don’t know how, and by the way I don’t need guys who follow me for edits.

I want people who want to connect.

You could say I spent most of my life in solitude, you know I know a lot, because I had time to think. You’ll never see me working at a traditional job. I don’t want to.

I believe everyone’s smart enough to create his own job. Despite the earnings.

I sure would want to earn, but I don’t want to sell my time, time is precious. I know I won’t fit in.

Some of you may think that I’m a joke, but I’m not, I’m just a joker but I can be serious when needed.

Also I had to try out farts and it appeared to be my most popular video and I can’t get it guys, why do you watch farts and not when I talk seriously, why? Are the videos boring or you’re fart heads?

I just can’t get it… can’t understand it.

It’s just strange that there’s so much people and barely few care how I’m doing. There’s so much people and I feel alone.

Even If I had xbox one with 8 joysticks I would have so much friends.

Why people are you so cruel? What’s the problem. I posses no harm to you.

I know you could give me so much, but why don’t you? What’s the problem?

Why can’t we build a great place to live? Don’t you want Earth to be a great place for all.

Why the fuck we need wars, starvation, homelessness, unemployment.

I just want to connect. That’s all, because I feel alone.

Like an alien.

Didn’t receive my paycheck yet.

These pydars, keep holding my money as much as they can.

It never comes on time. It pisses me off.

Soon I’ll be rich.

Few days left till I get my disability paycheck.

I know what I’m going to buy.

Few bottles of Frontera wine and two large pizzas.

Gonna be a great party.

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