Unconfident.

When somebody offers me work, I very much feel unconfident that I can do that work.

I remember when I learned to install windows 98, I installed it maybe 20-50 times a day because the system would always crash.

If somebody would ask me to install windows when I wasn’t qualified to do that. I would feel too, very much unconfident.

To do work, you need to be qualified. To be qualified it takes a lot of practice, the same with my guitar. I can play primitive songs with one strum, but if people would ask me to play on stage – I wouldn’t be confident because I can’t even remember my songs. I oneshot my songs with freestyle.

Being confident comes with a lot of practice. You just can’t pop out of pussy with confidence.

I have to note that some people are more confident than others by nature.

I’m not confident at all. I never wanted to work not because I’m afraid to wake up early and go to the bus station, but because I never felt that I know something and know how to do something.

I loved philosophy all my life, but I couldn’t be a philosophy teacher because my philosophical level is really low, there’s so little you can learn alone and I’m not an avid book reader.

Philosophy is a word game, because philosophy doesn’t offer any solutions in my opinion. Real world requires real solutions, while theory is only theory.

Does simulation hypothesis change anything? No it doesn’t.

There’s this hierarchy of competence, which permits and prohibits certain people to do certain stuff. I sure couldn’t be the president of Lithuania, nor I could be a dentist, nor a musician – I don’t feel fit into the society, that’s why I’m a loner and a nolifer.