I assume most of you aren’t into writing and I assume you are poor if you’re into writing because I’m not getting any deals. Anyway.
I wanted to write about the real joy of life.
You see, a lot of people believe that joy is in the bank, especially when there’s a million bucks in the bank. Yeah this if one of joys.
But the biggest joy in life is to go to sleep without any pills.
I’ve been on pills, on meds for last 6 years and not just sleeping pills but serious antipsychotic drugs.
And I can say that sleeping without pills is the most sincere thing I miss.
Just recently I popped Olanzapine 10 mg. It doesn’t instantly turn off your brain but it makes you sleepy and being sleepy and sleep in general is something I miss.
When I have these creative urges. I can sit on my laptop and write the shit out for several hours and I can’t sleep.
I didn’t know what happened to my life.
Did I forget how to live? Or schizophrenia struck me so badly?
I remember the days when I was sleeping good without pills. I remember when I was drinking and having this great time with my friends and now I don’t want to party, to play games, to fuck girls – I don’t want anything, just to have a good night’s sleep.
Sleep is very important but when I have these creative urges I just can’t sleep and pills don’t work.
I just want to sleep – fuck all those life achievements. I don’t need that cash because cash won’t buy me this wonderful night’s sleep.
I would say that sleeping is it most awesome thing invented by god. I have this rush of thoughts all day long and it pisses me off.
I just would like to shut my brain for a brief moment because this constant thinking can drive most people insane. I just want to create and write and sleep. I don’t need anything.
I’ve been vegetating for 10 years. I don’t want to live. I want to write and sleep, eat and shit. This is what’s fun for me. Because I’m a laser-focused person.
If I told myself that I will make cash online, probably I will – it’s just a matter of time.