I sit at my desk and listen to some psychedelic trance.
I ordered a pizza and it’s been 1:45 hours and I’m still waiting.
This evening I’m feeling very dull and somewhat bored.
I hate days like these just because I feel that I’m missing out on life big time. All these rich guys are fucking girls on a yacht in sunny malibu and I’m stuck here alone in my room.
The only thing I can do when I’m dull and bored is to listen to music and write because writing helps. Looked at my blog stats barely someone reads my shit, well no wonder – I don’t write how to do shit and top ten games on android. It’s no wonder.
During my life I realized that most people don’t want to be friends with you when you’re different. Of course we all are different but I don’t really like most people because most of them live by status quo and principes.
As it appears to me, most people are delusional or maybe, I guess, I’m the one being delusional. I get absolutely no support from the crowd.
As “Leningrad” sings: “if you want to be free you gotta be alone“.
But I have to admit being alone sucks. I bet every man wants a girlfriend. Because let’s admit if you’re struggling with nihilism you don’t like life in general.
I’m fed up with doing my vlog, I’m fed up doing podcasts but I still do them but as big businessmen guru’s say – don’t do stuff that is not effective.
By not effective they mean don’t do stuff that brings you no results. Sure I could market by blog, spend thousands on ads but it’s not worth it. I’m not selling anything. I have some shit listed but personally I won’t buy it because it’s useless.
I started this blog to connect with people, I’ve been connecting with people for the past 10 years. Barely connected to anyone – whatever man, I’m dull and bored this evening.
Whatever I do I don’t fit into the mainstream format, but you know – what doesn’t fit into the format of the majority won’t make you money but whatever man. I’m here to self express.
I realized that I don’t like business at all, all business is based on sales. The more you sell – the better for the business. But for people who don’t do business and don’t work – the whole world is under a lock.
At first I though, hey man there’s this matrix, maybe I can unlock the world via the computer but I guess I can’t. Being popular and making your message spread is like really hard. Especially when you’re a nobody like I am. Spreading your message is harder than Seth Godin says.
I’ve been trying to spread the message for almost a decade and yet, nothing magical happened. I guess I’m stuck with this locked world forever…
… and that’s dull and boring.