Ok, my posts aren’t that awesome, but I guess this shit must be good.

In a sense, I hate new things, new things make me very uncomfortable and I don’t like being uncomfortable.

Sad. Sad. Sad because uncomfortable.

I really don’t like being uncomfortable and unfamiliar with the environment.

Actually, when I think about it. I never started working because it was uncomfortable. I always did things that felt good.

Playing the guitar, riding a bicycle, writing, vlogging โ€“ these things never were bad or uncomfortable.

But due to being afraid of being uncomfortable I really have limited experience and life but whatever. 

Yeah, sure I could go do all the gym stuff, but whatever man โ€“ I just don’t see the point, what’s the point of doing some bullshit job. What’s the point in learning and whatever.

Why push the sick and almost dead body…

Today I did:

  • 3 push ups
  • 3×10 squats
  • 2×10 crunches
  • 10 vertical jumps

Man, I’m fucking tired. My body can barely move. All upper teeth are almost destroyed. Got to go to the dentist. It would be great if they pulled out all those bad teeth, but no they’re going to swirl and drill and try to recover them โ€“ WTF man.

I just want to sleep, eat, shit, repeat.

This fucking nihilistic life pisses me off. 

I wish I was non-material โ€“ because the body is so fragile. There’s probably nothing worse in life than a bad and weak body…

The stupidity of life is that life itself is absurd. I mean my life for me. Because I’m tired of living but I don’t want to kill myself. New days don’t bring anything new.

Tomorrow I will wake up and lurk at my laptop, in fact the upcoming ten years I will lurk on my computer. I’m like this man who sees the future.

WTF man, this new gutenberg editor lags like shit on my chromebook.

Hmm, it appears that Yoast plugin was causing the lag. deactivated the plugin and now it’s fine… ๐Ÿ™‚

I have to admit that my body is neither strong nor aesthetic.

Nihilism is a disease.

I can’t understand what’s the fucking problem. Is it my food or what, because I have no energy. And I quit smoking almost a month ago. Sure I don’t cough no longer. I guess I’m going to end up dead few years later. Because I slept two days. I just like sleeping.

If somebody would ask me: do you enjoy your life?

I would say: No

These fucking mood swings piss me off. I don’t know โ€“ maybe tomorrow will be a better day because today โ€“ I’m pissed.

Life essentially is problems and problems and problems. Wish I had problemless life. If there’s another miserable life after death โ€“ man, fuck this nonsense. Wish I could go into nowhere, into the void, into the non-existence… because dealing with other people and the nonsense of other people is just fucked up.

I hate drama and everyday life โ€“ I like thinking abstract thoughts just because being in my own head is better than facing this reality which is fucking harsh.

A man is never good enough due to competition and other crap.

I don’t know why but there aren’t a lot of things to appreciate. Wish there were more things I could appreciate. I just can’t understand why I write for people while actually disliking most of people.

I don’t like most people, I have to deal with people. People here, people there. And have to depend on people, got to do shit for people. Got to buy shit from people, man fuck this. I hope nobody’s reading this shit.

Over 30 years I haven’t seen any people I actually enjoy. People are fucking weird when I do weird stuff โ€“ I just show you you. I’m actually portraying you.

And when I think about it. Everything boils down to people’s products โ€“ you can’t like the person but you might like his product.ย 

Product โ€“ blog, vlog, music, art, whatever the person produces.

If I would be a millionaire โ€“ sure I would like people but since I’m not a millionaire. I don’t like most people by saying most people. I mean my own social circle. Because let’s admit it โ€“ I don’t know and haven’t seen all 8 billion people to judge them.ย 

I’m talking about people from my social circle, the people I’ve met during my life. Some I like but aren’t in any relationship.

When talking about friends. I can assure you โ€“ having friends is really really rare whilst having some followers you give no shit is common. Followers online are just random stalkers. People who like to stalk.

This one is good.

Generally I like life but I was misfortunate with many things in life. Maybe, I don’t like people because I see the misperfection?ย 

I just don’t know. When I was a kid โ€“ most of my friends were idiots and wherever I look I see idiots and idiots and I don’t know why it happened to me.

I just know one thing: nobody will ever tell me something smart.ย 

If I want something smart โ€“ I got to seek it out by myself.

Maybe because I like philosophy, I find hard to relate to other people.

I know there are me like people somewhere, people who can relate to me and I can relate to them โ€“ that’s why I started this clumsy blog.

Will your death make a buzz?

You know as an artist, I wonder will my death make a buzz but when I think about it โ€“ 1 million people die every day, do I know about them?ย  No.

If I don’t care about children starving in africa, then starving children in africa don’t care about me. Even if I cared about starving children in Africa, the Africa kids wouldn’t care about me.

From my standpoint โ€“ nobody cares about anybody.

I don’t care about people I don’t know and to be frank I don’t care about people whom I know.ย 

Reason is: everybody’s thinking about himself โ€“ how to survive to the next day.

I was talking about the abundance but me in my life aren’t really abundant. I know there’s a lot of money out there but I don’t sell anything โ€“ I don’t have anything to sell, just my time and I don’t want to sell my time.

That said โ€“ I’m done.

I approve the Gutenberg and it reminds me of medium’s editor but more advanced.