Creative Insomnia

Let’s get straight.

If you’re a creator, artist and a freaking genius. You won’t sleep.

Your mind will always be making the next move. And then you wake up from your bed – it won’t matter what time it is and etc.

As a writer I suffer from schizophrenia and insanity and insomnia – I have to pop pills in order to switch of my mind.

This fucking insanity is driving me crazy, but you can’t get crazy twice.

I just want to ensure you that you’re not alone.

I write this piece of text at 06.51 after writing all night.

Creativity can cause sleep disorders.

Until I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia I’ve been struggling with sleep. And when I start to sleep bad I end up being in a mental hospital.

Good for me – I have some Quetiapine.

I should pop 200mg every night, but for two nights I didn’t. So my brain now is on turbo.

I don’t know why, but my brain works on turbo regime every time.

My brain can distort the shit out of reality.

When I had my first psychosis I was mind blown. I remember that rough time.

People talk about opportunities and possibilities, but when you’ve been stabilized from psychosis – you should consider yourself lucky.

I didn’t choose this mental disorder. It choose me.

I literally came to conclusion that I live in the matrix then I found out about simulation hypothesis.

Insomnia can really drive one insane.

Sucks that diseases like schizophrenia have no real cure. I got to inject myself with Xeplion 100mg, on a monthly basis.

At first I thought that there is something more to reality that there is another side to life, but after 16 times in mental house I realized there is nothing to life.

And yet, I struggle with creative insomnia.

I can’t help myself. Nobody can.