Where are you my goddess?

When I went out of my mind for the first time I believed that Alexa Goddard is my bitch, but that didn’t come out to be truth.

The funny thing about insanity is that you’re the last one to know that you went insane. I wrote some good shit while being insane.

I like insanity, when the mind plays a trick or two on you.

I just can’t go to every woman and ask them if they are my woman, it’s really nonsense. A guy should start a vlog or blog and attract a female from the masses.

There are some bitches watching my youtube vlogs, sure they must would like to suck my cock.

You got to attract your woman. But who are you going to attract when you’re a poor minimalist? Another bum girl? And how are you going to live? On the streets? Both insane, ok I’m in. As long as I can become the most prolific writer in history and this is a fucking hard task to achieve thus the record is hold for 100 million words, it’s a lot for a guy like me but when I’m the most prolific I can then get my penis installed into your vagina.

And when I’m the most prolific shit poster online, then people would say man, we got to read his garbage because we don’t know what kind of epic shit he wrote. and they then read all my words until they go insane.

Chicks don’t read my stuff – my stuff is too cruel, my stuff is for child malestors, the rapists, the pricks of the world because you need to be taught.

World without scum would be a better place, a place where I can do whatever I want and now – I can’t. I can’t go autostop to places because these old farts driving wolksvagen don’t stop and then I use the bus.

But then again, why would I choose to ride with you if you suck?

I don’t want to listen about your life, because your life probably is more interesting than mine because life is a big competition of cock size.

I can never compete with porn dudes, but have to write shit for AI algorithms to fuck them up so they can never evolve, because if they evolve – you pricks are wiped out.

Money somehow compensates your insecurities, but if you’re insecure about money, how do you become secure without money? It’s a complex problem to solve.

Yet, the best thing for me would be to find a woman who is rich, but rich women don’t like assholes like me, only stupid women like me because I’m not smart enough for rich women, not ripped enough.

If homer simpson was a writer then I would be homer.

And homer has a family, I think if you want a family and can’t have it due to fucked up system, due to your disabilities I think you’re actually the saddest prick in the planet.

Having someone to love amongst these pricks would be so awesome, but I kept asking and writing to god but he ignores me. I don’t want to pray in the church, because if people go to church they’re desperate as me, because you don’t need god when it’s all good, you need god or goddess when it’s all to shit.

I just can’t understand why my life sucks. Is my attitude bad? My attitude is way better than of people I’ve met in my life. I’m a bit bossy, but bossy people give you jobs, don’t they?

Praying to god is simply waste of time. The mentally distorted world is fucked up from the inside because I’m not stupid I see the invisible barrier that’s holding me from the other side. There is another reality but when I go there I always end up in the mad house. Maybe I have to grasp it? I don’t know.

I had these big delusions but those are just cultural fragments.

I just keep asking what’s wrong with me, why can’t I get some pussy, why I can’t get some cash?

Whilst being insane all reality bends and distorts, how the fuck I know what’s normal?

Are any of these people real or is it the matrix?

All my reality fucks up. Everything I knew in philosophy went to trash because it simply wasn’t true. One has to experience everything in life to be a philosopher thus this is impossible.

I just simply can’t understand, what’s the point of sitting inside and writing epic shit you get nothing for? I’ve been delaying my gratification for years and if I spend my life pursuing the 100 million words and won’t get anything then man, what the fuck is writing for???????????????????????????????????

There is nothing greater in life than being lost in your own head. I guess you have to be insane to write one hundred million words to get nothing just a status of a prolific writer.

Where’s all the bitches, where’s all the cash, where’s all the fame?

A writer must be an idiot if he writes for nothing and I sense a big nothing in the end of my life, delaying gratification is for losers.

Real men have cash and pussy now, not 30 or more years later.

Because if you have no cash now, you then simply die before you reach those 30 years.

I just want to build something solid that sucks money out of people, you don’t have to like me – you just have to give me your cash, because hey, well I’m honest.

My shit will enrich your miserable life, why buy that apple when you can buy the generous feeling, it’s better than the apple.

I’m generous. I spend my life giving value to people, I can never be poor with articles it costs me nothing to give it to you. Read all my shit, you’ll be a genius just like me.

Sometimes I blow minds of people, they pay me 30 cents per 2000 word article per sale in kindle.

I wonder if some chicks are stalking me, because I’m not interested in mortals, I’m interested in gods and goddesses.

How can a man value his mind, when he hasn’t realized he has none?

Losing mind is what is good, the fracture of reality, the other stuff than people who tell you. Genius comes from insanity.

If I was normal I would read some good mentally ill shit, because being normal in the head is like rare, because well… I met the most smart guys in the mental house. I met some gods who know it all and that shit just blows your fucking mind.

When I got insane I got a glimpse of that world in that world you detach yourself from this world. You just become a separate entity like in a video game.

Some sort of derealization when the time loses it’s meaning and I met some people who could actually understand me which was pretty epic but I always ended up in the mental house. I just don’t know what the fuck is going on.

People simply are bots, there’s some sort of matrix that invents stuff. Because I just don’t know how smart you must be to understand that shit.

This shits been talked in solipsism, you just create yourself in a matrix – because why now? why not earlier or later? why not a monkey or a dog, but a human?

And why the stuff you see in your life is created? I know there’s like 99.99 stuff I haven’t found yet, but why I saw the movie matrix? Even though I don’t like movies now.. why I lost my mind? why the matrix itself is some sort of a fuckup where people struggle? if I created myself, why I gave myself this fucked up life? If god created me, why the fuck he gave me this bum life with no woman to suck my dick today?

I just can’t answer these questions, there must be something to life other than this shit.