Vygintas Varnas

Matrix Hacks

Day: November 14, 2018

Get Out There And Attract Your Friends

I used to be a lonely guy living in Lithuania. Had some friends in my early 20s. But later in life some got married, some emigrated, some didn’t want to be friends with me. So I ended up being lonely. Even didn’t had anybody to chat through the web.

Living alone is a very upset and miserable experience and is very disappointing.

Imagine, in a world full of people – you’re alone, no girls, no drinking buddies, no nobody to help you cope through the day. Being a loner is, well, lonely.

How do people find friends online and in real life. I didn’t know it before until I started experimenting online.

Friends online usually don’t stick with you when you move on, or change a video game or whatever. Friends don’t stick with you when you don’t have similar life experience. Poor are friends with poor and rich are friends with rich – that’s the way life works.

Good thing about the web is. You attract people who like you, so doing some vlogs or blogging might attract a lot of followers but only some of them become your friends. Only few you can trust online.

My uncle told me that you find friends when your learn something with them in your childhood and when you grow up with them, later in life you just won’t find friends because everybody is busy with their marriage and other things.

There’s a saying that people with huge social circle have a lot of friends, acquaintances, co-workers and other people whom they can exchange their daily thoughts, but what about introverts? Introvert social circle is close to nobody. Few people here and there.

If you have been in a routine for the past 10 years, you won’t find any new friends. Because the routine is the same. To find friends, you have to change your daily routine.

My best experience was starting a vlog. By being myself I attracted some people who are tailored to me. Whenever I start a live stream – people come to ask questions and say nice things. This is pretty cool because the past some years I was alone. Lurking in my flat 24/7.

Don’t believe people who talk online, building a tribe is very hard if you are not considered awesome by the majority of people and if you ended alone in your 30s – most likely you’re not awesome at all.

Since most people are sheep, they need a leader. A leader is a guy who has some attribute other folks don’t have. You just have to be slightly better at something: it may be rebeling, or making money or whatever. Maybe even living without money.

Communication is the basic need of social homosapiens. Every individual has the need to belong in a tribe – it is in our genes.

Friendship is essentially a numbers game, the more people know you the more people can choose to be your friend. If people don’t know you – you stand no chance of making a friend.

How do you win a numbers game? Is by being there – where those numbers are. Facebook, instagram, youtube, twitch and other websites which are rich with people or you must be in events regularly – gyms for example. When choosing a public event – you want to be there where people go regularly or just go to mental asylum, where people are together for a month. Sure you will make friends.

You won’t make friends at a random event, where people go randomly. This is because nobody will talk to you due to self interest in an event, not in you.

Tribe building works only online and it can take – few years till the tribe will sculpt to you. Some may like you, some won’t – it’s just life.

I’ve been online for 6 six years here in lithuania, nobody recognizes me outside, just because views are small, but if they would be millions of views people from all over the place would recognize you – even if they’re not your friend.

When you’re home alone – nobody will come to you, no matter how much time you’ll wait at home. If you’re single no girl will come to your house. So you have to be exposed to the public in one way or another.

Friendships come and go, you can make friends in a bar all drinking people love to drink and chat – drinking is a social occupation unless you drink alone.

I wouldn’t go on a date website to spend hundreds of hours writing each and every girl out there. Instead I would build an online presence. People form the web can become good friends. It doesn’t matter where you meet friends if you don’t want to marry them.

Life basically is sitting alone and doing your own stuff or watching TV. I found the tendency that people don’t want to be friends with certain people. If you’re toxic – the web is full of advice on how to get rid of toxic people.

You know – it’s the peoples problem if they don’t want to be friends with you. Some people guilt themselves for not having friends.

The worst is being a social outcast – if one is a social outcast, he will never find friends because he is excluded from the socium. Being a social outcast is the worst. You can’t do anything about it.
I found a lot of friends from all over lithuania with same interests, but I’m not done yet. Creating a social platform is an extremely hard work because it requires patience if you don’t want to pay money. And I found girls who are interested in me, got some nudes :-))) Met some of them.

Social platform based around your name can attract various opportunities, I was invited couple of times to festivals, but couldn’t go because I don’t own a car. I was invited to 2 festivals to speak. So it’s kind of cool. People on radio talked about me, people do fan art, some videos went viral, but not on my channel. When a video goes viral – you get a flood of messages, people want to talk to you and engage with you – it’s cool. But viral videos are 15 minute fame.

My videos really are terrible, i just shoot them with webcam. Had once 700 subs when my major news portal included my video in one day. After you’ve been viral for 15 minutes, you won’t be famous again, but that doesn’t matter you won’t attract people. 300 000 people saw me online maybe even more. I get daily 200 views. On my crappy youtube. Got 800 people on facebook, so it’s kind of cool. But facebook bans me. I was never popular on youtube because my channel is random.

People even gave me cash to do youtube, so it was strange. Sold some t shirts. So it’s cool.

I think many people should try to build a personal platform – you don’t have to pay for marketing or whatever – people will find you, these days it’s easy to find each other on social platforms.

Instead of games

I have nothing against games, but after spending 10 years upgrading my diablo II character I realized that I’m a loser in real life.

Instead of upgrading your character in games, try to upgrade your character in life. Real life is harder thus it’s worth more.

I gave up on things too many times.

The road to success is led by a lot of failures.

The more you do – the more you get.

Successful produce, the failed ones consume.

So in sense what you produce should give you some opportunities and maybe sales.

You have to try to accomplish one thing. Instead of jumping to random things.

Motivation? If you have nothing then get something. Anything you want, go out there and earn. Offline or online it doesn’t matter.

You can quit many times, you’ll get disappointed, you’ll be pissed and most of the time alone in your endeavours.

But what matters is picking up again, and again – When you fall, stand up…

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