Today I woke up and the dog chewed brother’s web cable.
We moved the furniture, now the cables are secure.
Today I woke up and the dog chewed brother’s web cable.
We moved the furniture, now the cables are secure.
It seems to be me that the world is going crazy.
Why the hell people watch fart videos?
There’s so much disgust in the world that it makes me sick.
Sometimes I think that people are kinda stupid, I met really stupid people during my life and most of them think they are smart.
That’s kinda strange.
People are interested in porn, in pedophilia, in necrophilia, in zoophilia – there’s so many scumbags in this world.
Where the hell are all normal people?
It’s kinda strange that the world is full of people and you don’t have any friends. Maybe all normal people are extroverted?
I don’t want to be arrogant but I am.
Nobody really cares about the simple man. Women are for sale. You can buy them, if not with money, then with chocolates and flowers.
I’m going to live alone. Destined to be alone.
I don’t like this world it’s better to drop my own expectations. When I was little – I expected more from the world, the world is giving so little.
Somewhere along the road I lost my joy.
Why is that?
It seems that I’m missing out on huge things.
I’m alone, lurking on the web and watching this world of disgust.
Probably, there are more sick people than normal ones.
I regret that the web is invented. All people who were without the web – did not see this disgusting world. It’s better – when you don’t see.
You just can’t pretend that you don’t care – these people aren’t my fellows. I’m alone, destined to be alone.
This is a long lonely road where I don’t matter at all.
I’m not important and not special.
Why I used to think that way?
When’s the road going to end.
I’m bored and disappointed.
Why earning money is so difficult, it looks like other people are making money much easier. I kinda make money easy but it’s not a lot. Just 221€.
Why it’s hard to find a decent job, and why we have to work at all?
Isn’t working supposed to bring more money. My disability paycheck is a joke. Isn’t working supposed to be fun?
All my life I was looking for fun and didn’t find it.
I guess it’s a blessing to make money.
Why other bloggers can make 10 000$ per month while I make nothing. I just can’t understand it. What’s the problem?
Why earning money is hard and why earning money isn’t easy as spending it? I can’t get it.
I guess other folks can make money easier and it isn’t hard for them.
Why the hell 10% of people own 90% of money. Isn’t that unfair?
What should I do. I don’t want to work in a lame job, isn’t there better jobs?
I just don’t know.
Today I was with my dog. She chews random garbage like cigarette butts, beer corks and small pieces of trees.
I spend a fun time with my dog, Bena.
I wanted to be longer, but she was tempting to go home.
Now I’m at home, listening to Michael Jackson.
I’ll go for a smoke. Having a dog is great, but in the morning I’m so lazy to go out with her, she wakes up me at 7 AM. Then I go out with her and then I go to sleep again.
I assume it’s better to have a house with some land. Then you just open up the door and she walks by her own. But unfortunately I don’t have a house with land. 🙁
I finally deleted all my youtube videos. I don’t want to be a youtuber. Nobody watches my videos, so I guess they are lame. Anyway deleted them and I’m okay.
Now I’m going to blog on this blog/diary.
Ok, I’m going for a smoke.
Sure I need money – who doesn’t?
Everyday I lurk on my laptop, checking what’s new in the matrix.
I sure don’t want to work. Because working sucks – everybody knows that.
My blog doesn’t earn me any money and that sucks. That’s just typical blogging.
I don’t know what to write to have some atypical results.
Today I stepped onto my dog’s shit. That’s nasty.
Sure, it’s living the dream.
Anyway. I figured I’ll do donations on this blog. I want my blog to be ad free.
I have to admit, that lately I feel burnt out and exhausted from writing.
I just no longer know what to talk about. I feel that I’ve talked through everything. Sure writing is great, I don’t want to quit.
But nobody reads blogs anymore unless you’re a pro blogger.
That’s typical blogging for you.
Today I realized that women have no value. Paying for pussy is too expensive. It’s ridiculous what men have to do to get some pussy.
Now I write through my exhaustion. And it’s not nice.
I’m done guys, have to take a serious break. I no longer know what to talk about.
Yeah, I wish things were easier because now everything’s hard.
Forget about being popular.
Forget about money.
Forget about girls.
Forget about everything, it’s not for you.
Don’t believe me?
Go outside somewhere without money.
And you’ll realize that you’re an useless prick.
I’m never satisfied, I love tweaking things.
Now you can buy me a Coke, do you like this button?
Sure all funds will go towards blog maintenance and some coke.
Just recently I was out with my dog. Just for a small walk.
Around the apartment.
She’s a really cool dog.
Yesterday I was livestreaming on youtube.
And to my surprize one of my fans bought me a beer – what a nice dude.
Now I want to live stream.
I streamed almost for two hours, the stream is worth a beer.
How do these moguls earn online. For me it seems impossible.
These moguls are earning 10 000 $ per month.
I would be happy if I would earn 1/10 of it.
Kinda sucks you can’t earn online when you’re an amateur.
I know I should put some ads on my website, even though ads are the worst way to earn money online.
Today I left the dog alone and went to get my free food.
They gave not much.
PS. I’m not in the mood to write more because I’m burnt out. I’ll take a break for couple of days.
Writing sure is fun. How about you write your first story in first person?
First person stories, most of the time are a narrative.
How do you create a story in first person?
It’s easy, take upon a ridiculous angle and impersonate a character.
There are many ways to write this story, but first person writing is often considered very personal since all the world is through your characters lense.
The better character you can impersonate the better your book.
My two eBooks are written by Tomas Pavilijonas, an alcoholic detective. He is interesting in many ways since his style is straightforward. With no environment, he writes his story.
Sure I plan another book, but a bit later – when I’ll earn from this blog. Maybe never.
Impersonate people, and your character can open a new perspective.
As long as you have imagination, you can write very good in first person.
Personally for me straightforward style is the best style. I very much love Tomas Pavilijonas. He’s an awesome detective and he tells great stories. Most of the time stories are unreal with hallucinations.
People who read and listened to Tomas’s eBooks liked them very much.
I don’t want to disappoint my fans, but I need more money to voice my books. Long books cost 150€ to voice, and shorter ones cost 50€ to voice.
I kinda struggle with cash. So now I won’t write new eBooks. Since nobody reads them, people like to listen to audiobooks. Audiobooks are the new books.
Audiobooks outsell eBooks and simple books. 🙂
Write your story in first person, impersonate!
There is only one way to put a story on paper and that is – to write it.
During last year I started a lot of stories – didn’t publish them at all, well in fact I didn’t even finish them.
Because the story is better in my head than I can put it on paper.
And there’s this challenge.
To put a story in a fine way.
But it’s tricky.
I don’t have a formula to put the story in a best way.
But you have to rewrite the story many times and polish it.
When I wrote ‘kas yra garetas’ and ‘trys drambliai’ I didn’t rewrite the stories. I just one shot them.
Sometimes the story writes itself as it should, other times it’s a struggle.
If the story is better in your head, probably it’s time to write a different story?
Hello dear followers. I made a special “best” design, this time with lithuanian accent.
I hope you love my design.
T-shirts you buy go to this blog’s support and maintenance.
You need creative energy to write, to draw, to paint, to play a musical instrument and to do other creative activities!
As I told, it’s all in the neural network.
Let’s say you want to be a poet.
Then your duty is to create one poem each day for a year and increase the poem count as you become comfortable writing that one poem.
You open up a blog, or medium account but don’t write in facebook because your poems will be lost when they’ll ban you.
When you start being creative you get some sort of inertia.
You need inertia and momentum because that will permit you to write more. If you like to draw – take your smartphone and make a video while drawing – each day 1 video and you’ll have 365 videos after a year – publish those videos on youtube. People love to see how other folks draw.
When you pick your art. You have to commit to your art and discipline yourself to write, draw, to create one piece a day.
When you’ll create one piece a day after few months you should get momentum and inertia. The more you create – the better it is for your art. Because in art quantity is what makes quality.
If you’re a writer – you gotta write and write and write.
If you’re a painter – you gotta paint and paint and paint.
There is no other way.
When you practise your body to create it becomes easier to create as long as you have the momentum. If you’ll pause your creation – then it’ll be a bit harder to get on track.
The more you create – the easier it becomes to create and don’t worry at this point that you’re creating garbage no one likes.
At first year, in writing – couple of years, you’ll be creating garbage, but that’s because your art hasn’t matured yet. After sometime when your art matures – you’ll then create awesome pieces.
All artists need recognition, while the artist isn’t recognized – nobody will love his art. Period.
Nobody’s born creative, we all develop our creative habits.
So now you have a goal, how do you actually achieve it?
Goals like going to the gym require a lot of motivation. Personally me, I don’t like gyms. I love writing.
You see motivation has to be internal, external motivation only gives you temporary boost in your brain. And then it slowly deteriorates.
How do you get motivated internally?
Ask yourself – how bad do you want to achieve your goal?
Do you want it bad, or just meh?
If you want to achieve your goal so bad – then you should be motivated. But if your goal is just meh, then all the world’s motivation won’t help you.
Try switching your goal to a goal which will fire you up.
You want a goal that fuels you up and lights you up. Because if reaching a goal exhausts you – that’s probably not your goal.
Think clearly about your goals, since lack of motivation is a sign of laziness. But laziness is a sign of energy saving. If you’re lazy – your body saves energy.
Your body knows internally what to do, so maybe you choose a wrong goal, a goal that’s not for you, but I don’t want to discourage you.
Maybe you are underdeveloped for your goal.
If you are underdeveloped for your goal – you will never achieve it. Sorry to break it to you.
Get up and do it, just like Nike says “just do it”.
If you force yourself to go to a gym, or do anything else. You’ll get exhausted. Achieving goals don’t require force.
Think about it – maybe it’s something wrong with your goal?
Maybe your goal is to difficult, or you’re underdeveloped for your goal.
Personally me. I wake up every day and write, it’s been 8 months I write daily on this blog, earlier I wrote elsewhere.
I can’t say that I’m very motivated. I just write, my motivation is internal. I need motivation when I want to achieve something different. But then I end up quitting, because my goal is to write this blog and not go to the gym.
It’s nothing wrong with quitting. Don’t be afraid to quit if you have to.
Just remember that if you’ll quit – you’ll never have.
Achieving something is really hard.
If you feel that you don’t have any motivation, maybe then you don’t have a goal.
You don’t need motivation to achieve something, you need motivation to achieve specific things. Motivation without a goal doesn’t work.
Get yourself a goal. And then motivation will come.
You don’t need motivation when you’re drifting. It’s easy to drift.
The world is abundant and there is abundance of everything from art to drugs and from porn to rapists.
When you want to be creative you need to think about this world as if it was a canvas.
A white canvas where you can draw whatever you want.
Creative work means adding a touch of yourself to the canvas.
Since the world is abundant it only lacks your art. There’s plenty of artists. There’s plenty of art.
Unleashing your creative genius means looking at the world from a different perspective, from a perspective of an artist.
The only thing this world lacks is your art. There isn’t your art out there yet and you can change that.
What would you create if you could? Create that because you can.
Artists from all around the world create art, they add a personal touch to the world. Even this post has to be written by me and that just proves that this place is a big canvas.
Sure you don’t need to be a writer like I am, you can create different art.
But ask yourself – what’s your perspective off the world?
Do you need any permission to create art? No, you don’t, people even don’t have to like your art.
A creator adds a touch to this canvas. Meaning that everything the creator touches – becomes beautiful.
For example, take a bad place and make it into a good place.
Not all people are creative, many people are simply disabled people, but if you’re normal – you can unleash your creative genius.
Think about the world and spot something which is lacking – create that.
You can create whatever you want – from drawings to writings and from music to heavily engineered equipment. It’s your choice – nobody can choose for you…
What will you create next?
In fact there are many goals one can achieve.
But picking a goal is easier than achieving one.
So how do you pick a goal?
Pick an easy thing first. Because many of the global goals can make you overwhelmed. You sure don’t want to be overwhelmed by goal complexity and hardness.
Pick a thing that’s easy for you. For me writing is easy, so I picked writing. If you don’t have a goal now – don’t worry, because goals arise during life. There are short term goals and there are long term goals.
Until I discovered writing I tried many things. Music composition, driving, gym, guitar, cycling, piano, programming, vlogging – nothing stuck to me like writing.
We are different people and we have different goals.
Goals love commitment. When you discipline yourself and commit to a goal. Achieving a monetary goal takes a lot of time. I hope you have time. Even playing an instrument like a guitar is hard. I suck at guitar.
There’s nothing bad with dropping a goal and picking another one. It’s pretty normal. Not everybody can get ripped like Schwarzenegger. Not everybody can draw, not everybody can sing. That’s normal.
Pick a goal that’s easy for you. If you know a lot of words – be a poet, be a writer – that’s what I do.
Pick a thing that’s easy for you and hard for others.
Even when you pick an easy goal, mastering it becomes really hard.
Don’t be afraid to master something. 🙂 It can be programming.
The choice is yours because there are so many achievable things, but not everybody can achieve them.
Creativity requires enormous amounts of creative energy.
It’s really hard to write, to draw, and to do any other creative activity when you do it daily. It’s even hard to speak into the camera daily.
Our head is neuroplastic. We have neurons in our heads.
I’m sure not a scientist, but you get the point.
These neural wires. Change everytime we are doing something. The more we do it – the stronger the connection of the neural wire.
The less we do it – the neural wire weakens and then later disappears.
To start being creative – you got to start creating even the smallest piece and it will make your neuron connect to a specific point in your head.
Following this little formula – you want to have strong neural connections in your head. And you strengthen by being creative.
If you want to be a poet, your duty is to write one poem each day for a year. Then when your neural connection is strong – you then increase the amount you write. The same with writing, rapping, drawing – everything. You need the neural connection.
The stronger your neural connection the easier it becomes to create art.
Remember, many people struggle being creative just because they think their art sucks. Sure its going to suck, but you’re just in the learning stage.
All people are creative when they establish the right neural connections. Well, okay, not all people.
Neural network loves repetition. The more you repeat your creative activity – the stronger your neural connections become.
That’s plain simple, but if you never heard about neural network and neural connections, check Google for it, they might provide you with more information.
Today I drank ‘Bajorų’ with lemon and noticed it’s a high alcohol ‘Spirituotas’ drink.
Then I instantly puked.
Man, I must like puking.
Personally I don’t plot books, but I can share experience with book plotting.
You open any writing software and pick heading style.
Then you write headings about the way your story will go.
After a heading you write a short summary.
Typical books have 20 to 100 headings.
Your story consists of characters and “what happens to them“.
Your character has to have a mission and sense of direction, why is he in the story in the first place?
Book plotting can be tricky. Especially for new plotters.
You want your story to have an introduction, the middle, the end.
Writing a book is really hard. If you haven’t wrote anything I don’t suggest writing a book as your first piece.
First, open your blog and write for 1 to 4 years daily so that your skill would mature and only then write your book. Just because if you have no audience – nobody’s going to read your book. You don’t want to voice your book and then put it on youtube – there won’t be any profit.
If you’re writing a book as your first piece, then write a detailed plot.
Personally me – I write panser style, this means I create the plot as I write.
Book plotting can give a sense of direction to your book. But good plotting takes time. Remember that ideas are worth nothing, your book will be better in your head than on paper.
To write a good story, first you need practise, that’s why I suggest you write a blog for couple of years. Blog writing will increase your writing skill.
First write stories that are short – flash fiction – 500 to 2000 words. Then increase the length of your stories.
Book plotting isn’t that hard, but personally me I never did book plotting because how do you know, when you just starting out, how will your book finish?
First try to write panser style.
There’s nothing worse in life than drifting without a goal.
Everybody needs a goal away from video games. You sure don’t want to live in a virtual world because in virtual worlds you get virtual results…
That said, the question remains – how do I set a goal?
When setting a goal, you don’t want to include other people in your goal. For example: getting a girlfriend or finding a wife – that’s not a real goal. Since external people don’t necessarily want your goal.
Money either isn’t a goal. Money is a target, not a goal. Because there are many ways to earn money.
So what goal should you set?
I’m not telling about your goals.
First step is to get a blog and to get out there.
Either way you want to be in the market. Everybody’s in the market. Sell or be sold, like Grant Cardone says.
Your goal should fully depend on you! To achieve a goal – you have to develop yourself. If you’ll wander without a goal, your next day will be the same as today.
You can learn to play a musical instrument. You can go to the gym – you can do whatever you want, as long as you earn some monetary rewards.
But as I said, money isn’t a goal. Money is a target.
Money won’t make you sad and you gotta know that money is damn important.
There are many goals you can achieve, you just have to think things straight. You can achieve anything you set your mind to.
Sure being a president is rare, but there are many goals away from being a president.
Any goal is better than no goal.
Just pick a goal that is long term and break that goal into subgoals so that you could track your progress!
I love writing that’s why I started this blog. Now I blog everyday. Now the mission is to make this blog semi-popular.
You can do what I do if you want.
Like Seth Godin says – everybody should blog. And he’s telling the truth – you gotta add something to the discussion, even if it’s just 2 cents.
Having a goal will improve your life because you will have a destination. Each day you will move forward.
Because, what’s to do when you don’t have a goal? Video games? That’s nonsense, video games give temporary unreal results when you’re not a pro. If you’re into video games at least be a professional gamer. Because otherwise you’re just wasting your life.
I don’t play video games, because video games are waste of time.
I have nothing against video games. But video games aren’t for me.
You set a goal and move every day towards it. And when you achieve a goal, you then come up with another – so that you would have things to do. If it’s a monetary target – you then increase the target.
You want to push yourself bit by bit. There are many goals you can achieve, it’s just a matter of your perspective.
If you don’t have ambitions and goals, then you wait until a goals arise. You have time to figure things out, don’t rush yourself and don’t pick a goal everyone else is picking. You want your unique goals.
Maybe your goal is to be lazy and unproductive, but if you’ll choose this road – don’t whine about it.
To guide my writing I suggest you won’t on the following poll.
Together we can make this blog better.
I’ll give this poll a day or two.
Don’t believe me?
If a lot of people die from lung cancer due to smoking – why tobacco is sold? Tobacco is a drug and I’m addicted to this drug.
Nobody really cares if I die from lung cancer.
Why people drive drunk?
That’s because stores sell alcohol.
You can’t put a law on a alcoholic.
The state does not care about you and me.
For the state we are just a statistical number. One head, two heads, three heads. More people pop out than die.
The state does not care if we are alive or dead, the state gives zero fucks on how we survive. It’s our problem how we survive.
The state gives no guarantees.
Imagine, people here in Lithuania get only 300€ pension after working 30-50 years. That’s ridiculous.
Fuck the state, be an anarchist.
Today I was with my friend, we drank some energetical drink (one litre).
We talked with him about the future and he told me that he doesn’t think about the future and I asked him: why don’t you think about the future?
I don’t think about the future because now I’m living okay, I play video games with cheats and I live in a virtual world. Virtual worlds satisfy me. When the future comes, I’ll probably will be a bum…
This shocked me.
I sincerely wish him the best and that’s why I write this post.
You gotta think about your future to be prepared. What if your mom dies? What if you lose your disability paycheck/employment? What if you’ll get kicked out?
These are serious questions.
Future loves prepared people. People who think about the future often think about things more clearly. What if you won’t die first? What if you’ll be alone (without a family and disabled)?
Life gets more difficult when you get older. You start to get sick with various diseases. It becomes harder to work. It becomes harder to think. It becomes harder to wake up each day.
You got to think about that.
You need to have a plan, either with ambition and great goals or without ambition and with small goals. You need to know where are you going.
Because if you won’t know.
You’ll end up somewhere you would wish you have not.
Many people don’t think about the future. Many people are living by this day. Many people don’t have any money saved up if something bad happens and that’s a shame.
Be a pessimist. Think that life will be hard. You need to have a plan.
Sure I won’t sell you one. You got to think about things on your own.
Ask yourself, but what if…?
What will you do if bad things happen?
Are you prepared?
Success loves preparation.
Start saving money, at least 100$ per month. You don’t have to invest that money. Open up another bank account and drop that money in.
You’ll notice that you are getting wealthier. Not the biggest wealth but it’s better that nothing.
In any case – you need money because money is the best antidepressant. Money makes you happy and less sad.
Money opens up new opportunities, brings you better food and drinks, and gives you better accommodation.
Money won’t make you unhappy.
Please, think about your future – because if you won’t – nobody else will.
The problem with most people is that many people are hidden gems. Many people don’t want to be seen.
Why is that?
Many people strongly believe they don’t have anything to offer.
Sure, not all people have the offer.
But most of us do.
It’s our choice to stay hidden and wait for any accidental opportunity to come. But there are no accidents.
Life is a process. From start to finish. All we do is survive. But we all strongly need money to survive and how do you get money?
This is a tricky question, especially when you don’t want to work.
Ask yourself? Do I want to work? And the answer probably is – no!
Nobody likes to work. Working sucks.
But what if, you could work on your own?
Get out there, be in the market.
Maybe you, yourself are a hidden gem? Just maybe, you have something – everyone wants?
The thing is.
You will never know if you will never try. 🙁
I want you to join my list and we will both hack the matrix. Step by step.
Join my list, and just maybe it’s your road to success.
Yeah, let’s hack the matrix together.
Are you fed up with being poor? I sure am. I was born poor and now I want to hack the matrix. The matrix has all the money.
The matrix is everything. From me, to you and to everybody else.
The matrix has us all.
Sure it would be great to escape the matrix, but you can’t escape the matrix unless you commit suicide – who knows, maybe you would be born again? I sure don’t know.
What I’m offering here. Is for you to join my list, where we both. Me and you could hack the matrix.
I know how and I can teach you. Step by step on how to hack the matrix!
I bet you don’t want to be poor. I don’t too – why don’t we hack the matrix together?
If you want to hack the matrix, be sure to subscribe to the list.
I found some secrets, we both can make money. 🙂
It’s your choice. Either you pick the blue pill. Or either you pick the red pill and become rich with me. 🙂
After my sickness with paranoid schizophrenia I kinda started not liking watching movies. Modern movies are too long. Why can’t a movie be 30 minutes?
I watched 21 minutes of ‘bumblebee’.
Kinda felt that I’ve seen this movie. But I know I haven’t.
I tell ya, movies are too long.
I kinda don’t have the patience to watch all the films.
Fuck that movie. I need a different movie. All movies are crap. Kinda old movies were a little bit better.
Nowadays all movies have special effects. As Tarantino told: if I liked special effects I would fuck a nintendo.
Fuck movies. I’m kinda not in the mood now because I couldn’t finish the movie. I’m bored.
Today I didn’t smoke till the evening, but then I decided to take a smoke since I’m a tobacco addict.
Now it feels good. I did sleep whole day and withdrawal symptoms have kicked in. I told myself that I don’t want to feel it.
You smoke, then the withdrawal kicks in and then you smoke again.
Just like any tobacco addict. Maybe I’ll quit someday but sure not today.
I don’t like smoking. I just like easing my withdrawal symptoms.
I’m sure aware of what I’m doing. Can’t say that I’m not aware. I sure am.
But anyway. I’m going to die anyway either a smoker or either not.
I don’t regret smoking. I regret falling into the trap.
Body and the mind are two different entities combined into one, the mind can’t live without a body and the body can’t live without the mind.
I have a dilemma, I asked my self this serious question.
Do I think? If I think, why do I keep poisoning myself with alcohol and tobacco? I must be not thinking.
This is a serious question.
What’s the point in poisoning yourself, after alcohol – vomiting and after tobacco – coughing. What’s the point? Do I really like it?
Of course not, but if I think, why do I keep doing it? Maybe I’m just unaware of what I’m doing? If I’m unaware of what I’m doing, this means my thinking is not conscious.
I started to drink and smoke purely on autopilot. Have to admit. I’m not aware of what I’m doing, otherwise – why I keep doing it.
This dilemma is hard, because at one point I was thinking about quitting smoking but I ended up smoking again. I tried to quit drinking but I ended drinking again.
Now the mission is to become aware of my own actions, because I’m simply not aware of what I’m doing. Every action has an effect. Too much smoking will kill me with cancer. Too much drinking will kill me with kidney disease.
So now I’m going to take few days, to look at my behavior, because if I continue to smoke, I must be unaware of what I’m doing.
Mission is to become aware and stop smoking and drinking.